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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
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Happiness.
Philosophers caution against focusing on happiness as the ultimate good in life, and I tend to agree. Happiness is subjective; it’s not a constant. I think we’ve put happiness on this unobtainable pedestal. It’s something that we haven’t actually defined for ourselves as individuals, and we strive for an unrealistic, curated ideal (however it is we perceive that ideal). Basically, we really don’t even know what we are searching for. What we talk about in our culture as happiness is really kind of a revved-up version of happiness. It’s a high-energy [state] — scientists call it a high-arousal positive affect. It’s a feeling, it’s transient, it’s not quality of life, it’s not so…
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Appreciation.
Life has been an uphill climb lately. And yeah, I’ve been complaining. It’s natural, right? 😬 But I also recognize that you don’t reach a peak of the mountain without first walking through the valley. For the past 4 months, it has literally been one thing after another, and it’s taken me on an emotional roller coaster. There have been essentially 7 significant events that have each taken me down a notch (or several). While I’ve been able to lean on people who care about me for support, there is still something missing that’s left me feeling unfulfilled. So, I’ve been doing what I do: completely analyzing these situations to find the root of what has…
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Worth.
Normally, when I want something, I go after it to make it happen. The problem is that sometimes you can only go so far until other people play a part in whether or not you can achieve your desired outcome. I can work my ass off to get into a program, but I cannot force the board to choose me. I can put forth the effort in a relationship, but I cannot force the other person to reciprocate. At some point, you have to analyze whether or not the things you want are actually worthy of your desire. Sometimes this means walking away from something that you really want. I recently made the decision…
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Insecurity.
I had a conversation with a friend who said he has no insecurities. Now, given this specific person, I get why he would think that. He is not short on self-confidence, that is for sure. 💁🏻♂️ But insecurity can rear it’s ugly head in a lot of different forms. He is confident in his abilities. But insecurity can be driven by a lot of outside factors too. When he was unsure of the stock market, he pulled out. If he was not confident that the market was going to perform well and reacted to the instability out of fear of losing money, is that not insecure? Insecure is defined as: deficient…
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Melancholy.
Melancholy is defined as a “depression of spirits” or a “pensive mood.” I want to focus on the former definition, because I feel like that’s exactly what we’re experiencing as humans right now. At least, I am. In Brené Brown’s new podcast, she talks with David Kessler on grief and finding meaning. Kessler says that grief comes after loss. That loss can be anything of significance to the individual. He points out that during this pandemic, we could list a 100 different things that we have lost: our social lives, our ability to converge in public, physical touch (as simple as a handshake), and the big one: the world as…