-
Self and Tolerance.
The problem with becoming self-aware is that you begin to notice all the wrongs. What I mean is that your triggers seem to increase as you recognize how traits and behaviors of others impact you. Even more, you begin to realize that you have unknowingly accepted a level of treatment that you now know is unhealthy for you. As a leader, we are sometimes required to tolerate things that we wouldn’t normally tolerate. Whether it be in your home life or your work life, there is undoubtedly someone that you accept poor treatment from because you have to. And I say “have to” because it may not be immediately feasible…
-
Politics.
Leadership is about rising above our lower self. Leaders set aside their own discomfort to make something more bearable for the other person. This creates the opposite of divide. It creates connection. And that’s been proven in psychology and neuroscience. I haven’t watched much of the political debates, because I don’t need to – nor do I want to. All the debates seem to be is a blame and shame game anyway. We don’t need more of that in our polarized society. We need leaders who say, “I’m sorry Mr. Presidential Nominee that you feel I haven’t done enough for the American people. But let me tell you how I plan to help them when I get elected into office.”…
-
Rise Above.
Lately, I’ve been having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Having made sacrifices for people who don’t acknowledge or appreciate how I’m hurting myself for their benefit has been tolling. So badly, I want to just yell at them and say, “You did this! You didn’t do that! You are this way! It is your problem!” I’ve had to muster up a lot of strength to not blame and shame. In the age of social media, moving on from people who have hurt us can be difficult. With each post that pops up on our feed, it is a painful reminder of what could have, should have, was or isn’t. Being the stubborn person that I am,…
-
Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
-
Self-Betrayal.
I think most of us would agree that we are not in the practice of self-betrayal. We don’t intentionally do things or make decisions that would purposefully bring us harm. Except we do make decisions that unintentionally do bring us harm. When we are presented with a choice, we have the option of honoring our morals, values, beliefs, desires, etc. or betraying them. When you make the “right” decision, there are usually positive side effects. When you make the “wrong” decision, it can lead to all sorts of negative effects. I was recently presented with a choice. A very big decision had to be made and there were a lot of moving parts. I chose to move forward, because I didn’t want to be…
-
Fine Lines.
I find it ironic that it’s sometimes the people who are against talking about feelings or self-reflecting that are the most emotional. In business, it can be challenging for subordinates or colleagues to approach these people with constructive feedback. It’s waiting until that person is in the right mood, reading the situation, treading lightly, and being deliberate with the words you say. While this typically applies in any situation, some (people and situations) are more sensitive than others. When developing new relationships, personally or professionally, the same approach applies. We walk fine lines. It’s not until a level of trust builds that we can be more direct. We often don’t…