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Pause.
Today, we are so caught up in media, technology, gossip, global news, economic in/stability, and essentially, way more things than I can list. The advancement of having entertainment at our fingertips has increasingly distracted and distanced us from our need to self-reflect. And yes, it is a need. When we turn our attention inward, it increases creativity and intimacy. Focusing on our thoughts, identifying our feelings, and pondering our purpose and value activates the part of our brains that bring meaning to our lives and strengthens our identity – both of which contribute to a positive well-being. Some people can find moments of pause throughout their day to reflect, show gratitude, pray, and/or appreciate; others…
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Rise Above.
Lately, I’ve been having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Having made sacrifices for people who don’t acknowledge or appreciate how I’m hurting myself for their benefit has been tolling. So badly, I want to just yell at them and say, “You did this! You didn’t do that! You are this way! It is your problem!” I’ve had to muster up a lot of strength to not blame and shame. In the age of social media, moving on from people who have hurt us can be difficult. With each post that pops up on our feed, it is a painful reminder of what could have, should have, was or isn’t. Being the stubborn person that I am,…
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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
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Closure.
Making sense of something we have lost is the acceptance stage of grief. Seeking closure can stem from any form of loss, not just the loss of a relationship. An explanation or answer as to why we lost something can provide us with the opportunity to learn something about ourselves or the other person or situation (whatever it may be). Closure exists on a scale; different personalities may be more prone to seek closure than others. Not receiving closure for people who need it can lead to psychological distress. One study found that people who prefer order and predictability – having a more rigid way of thinking and a low tolerance for ambiguity…
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Grief.
Suffering is part of human existence. This is fact. Every person in the world has lost something of significance and gone into a process of grieving. Grief takes on different forms for different people. Some numb pain; some deny through avoidance, and some lean into the pain. Loss is unavoidable. Grief comes after loss, and psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross believed that there are 5 stages of grief. They are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There has been criticisms of this grief theory among social scientists. I don’t love it or hate it. I do think grief is a process, but I don’t necessarily think there is a structure (that we grieve in this consecutive order). Grief affects…
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Loneliness – Part 2
It’s been 4 months since I wrote this post on loneliness, and 6 months since this pandemic dramatically altered our lives. I think most of us would agree, we did not expect it to be so impactful and last. this. long. If you’ve been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that I love learning about how our emotions develop through chemical reactions in our brains. Here are a few things I’ve learned in my reading of Together by Dr. Vivek Murthy: Our brain has two networks: one for social processing and one for non-social processing. When we are done performing a task (non-social processing), our brain immediately switches back to social thinking. So even when we’re…