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Self and Tolerance.
The problem with becoming self-aware is that you begin to notice all the wrongs. What I mean is that your triggers seem to increase as you recognize how traits and behaviors of others impact you. Even more, you begin to realize that you have unknowingly accepted a level of treatment that you now know is unhealthy for you. As a leader, we are sometimes required to tolerate things that we wouldn’t normally tolerate. Whether it be in your home life or your work life, there is undoubtedly someone that you accept poor treatment from because you have to. And I say “have to” because it may not be immediately feasible…
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Politics.
Leadership is about rising above our lower self. Leaders set aside their own discomfort to make something more bearable for the other person. This creates the opposite of divide. It creates connection. And that’s been proven in psychology and neuroscience. I haven’t watched much of the political debates, because I don’t need to – nor do I want to. All the debates seem to be is a blame and shame game anyway. We don’t need more of that in our polarized society. We need leaders who say, “I’m sorry Mr. Presidential Nominee that you feel I haven’t done enough for the American people. But let me tell you how I plan to help them when I get elected into office.”…
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Closure.
Making sense of something we have lost is the acceptance stage of grief. Seeking closure can stem from any form of loss, not just the loss of a relationship. An explanation or answer as to why we lost something can provide us with the opportunity to learn something about ourselves or the other person or situation (whatever it may be). Closure exists on a scale; different personalities may be more prone to seek closure than others. Not receiving closure for people who need it can lead to psychological distress. One study found that people who prefer order and predictability – having a more rigid way of thinking and a low tolerance for ambiguity…
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Grief.
Suffering is part of human existence. This is fact. Every person in the world has lost something of significance and gone into a process of grieving. Grief takes on different forms for different people. Some numb pain; some deny through avoidance, and some lean into the pain. Loss is unavoidable. Grief comes after loss, and psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross believed that there are 5 stages of grief. They are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There has been criticisms of this grief theory among social scientists. I don’t love it or hate it. I do think grief is a process, but I don’t necessarily think there is a structure (that we grieve in this consecutive order). Grief affects…
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Strength.
I was recently asked, “What makes you feel strong?” The question caught me off-guard, and I did a quick analysis of my life. I thought about my job, being a volunteer, public speaking, relationships, travel, the programs I’ve been part of, the opportunities I’ve had, and being a leader. Without much conscious thought, I replied, “I feel strongest in my weakest moments.” Then I got caught off-guard by my own response, and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m realizing how true the statement is. There have been times where I am curled up in a ball, crying, feeling every piece of my heart break 💔, experiencing extremely deep hurts that translate into actual…