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Control.
Control has been on my mind a lot lately for many reasons. Some things have happened that are beyond my control, and some things have happened where I am taking control. Since I frequently write about the need to control what we can control, it has me wondering why this is my desire? I would not consider myself a “control freak.” I’m actually really easygoing when it comes to a lot of things. In fact, what I’m realizing is that I may have been too easygoing in the past. Control is defined as “the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.” If you’ve read my intro, you’ll know that I believe leadership is…
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Grief.
Suffering is part of human existence. This is fact. Every person in the world has lost something of significance and gone into a process of grieving. Grief takes on different forms for different people. Some numb pain; some deny through avoidance, and some lean into the pain. Loss is unavoidable. Grief comes after loss, and psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross believed that there are 5 stages of grief. They are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There has been criticisms of this grief theory among social scientists. I don’t love it or hate it. I do think grief is a process, but I don’t necessarily think there is a structure (that we grieve in this consecutive order). Grief affects…
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Strength.
I was recently asked, “What makes you feel strong?” The question caught me off-guard, and I did a quick analysis of my life. I thought about my job, being a volunteer, public speaking, relationships, travel, the programs I’ve been part of, the opportunities I’ve had, and being a leader. Without much conscious thought, I replied, “I feel strongest in my weakest moments.” Then I got caught off-guard by my own response, and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m realizing how true the statement is. There have been times where I am curled up in a ball, crying, feeling every piece of my heart break 💔, experiencing extremely deep hurts that translate into actual…
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Truth.
The truth can hurt. That is fact. But wouldn’t you rather know the truth than believe a lie or lie by omission? I would. Not knowing and feelings of uncertainty can linger for as long as something is being avoided. I don’t want to live in discomfort indefinitely. I would rather quick pain of the truth, so I can feel it, and move on from it. Rip the Band-Aid off. 🩹 Quick and painful is better than slow and painful. Yeah? I do believe “the truth will set you free,” but I also believe some people “can’t handle the truth.” This is true of myself too. We cannot control our emotional reaction, but we can manage that emotion. And some of us manage our emotions better than…
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Loneliness.
Why is it that loneliness seems to be an unacceptable sentiment in our society? Is it because we are social animals, and so long as we are around people we shouldn’t be lonely? What I think is ironic about this is that I’m willing to bet WAY more people feel lonely than are willing to admit. (And I’m not a gambler, I am that confident with my odds here.) People tend to generalize emotions. I am victim of this too. I recently talked to a mentor/friend, and she said to me, “Lacy, you keep coming back to the injustices.” Internally, I was like, “Cool”, 😒 (in one ear and out…
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Emotion.
I write a lot about emotions and feeling them. Psychology fascinates me, so it’s not surprising that this is where my writing leans. But throughout my business and leadership readings, trainings, and experiences, it’s become quite evident to me how much emotion plays a part in our daily lives – and how many people dismiss it as playing an important part in our daily lives. In a TED Talk presented by Harvard Medical School Psychologist Susan David, she performed a study of 70,000 people and found that 1/3 of these people judge or actively try to push aside “bad” emotions such as grief, anger, or sadness. Normal, natural emotions are now seen…