by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Selfless Leadership.

Leadership is hard, you guys. đŸ˜” I can’t attribute all of my life changes to leadership specifically, but it has played a very large role in shaping my perspective and how I interact/think of others.  Not only have I become a more assertive communicator, but I have heightened self-awareness, higher emotional intelligence, and a much bigger “big picture” approach when analyzing most situations.

It feels like I am constantly making (big and small) sacrifices for the benefit of others, often with little to no reward.  But then, I got to thinking about Jesus.  And living impeccably.  

My assumption was that living impeccably makes life easier; that there would be more happiness.  But that’s not really the case.  Life has definitely gotten harder in many ways.  Although there does seem to be a greater sense of well-being, the complexity of emotions that come with selfless leadership has made me feel (on average) just merely content.  I don’t feel great, but I don’t feel bad either.  I feel just okay.

If living impeccably means to live without sin, and sin is defined as “anything that you do which goes against yourself”, how do I be a selfless leader?  Selfless leadership seems to be nearly constant self-sacrifice.  It seems that living impeccably is the exact opposite of selfless leadership. 

But it’s not.

Naturally, we are very selfless.  It is the influence of others that creates selfishness.  I have loved my Toyota Tacoma for 10 years.  But when my friend got a brand-new Jeep Wrangler, it kind of made me want to trade in the Tacoma.  I was content with what I had, until someone else showed me what I did not have. 

If it is our natural tendency to help others, then not putting others before myself would actually be the sin.  Therefore, living impeccably is. selfless. leadership. 🤯  

As I considered this, I was like, “Shit.  That kind of sucks though.”  Now, I get to go through life building up others while I go without my own desires?  That’s unfair.  At what point do I get rewarded for this selfless behavior? I cannot live miserably to build up others to live impeccably. Does no good deed really go unpunished?

Then I realized that perhaps our reward doesn’t come here on earth.  I think part of me has been seeking reward through the instant gratification we have culturally (and generationally) become accustomed to.  But if I look at this through the much bigger “big picture”, it completely makes sense that the reward is within something bigger than ourselves.

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, whether neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.

Mathew 6:19

Contentment is satisfaction.  And so is selfless leadership.  It may bring me a tinge of pain to go without my wants or needs, but knowing I have helped someone else achieve their goals comes with a great deal of pride in their efforts.  It’s a balance of positive and negative. âš–️ But really, the positive outweighs the negative, because there is additional satisfaction in knowing I did the right thing.  My heart was in the right place, and that is my treasure.  

I’m not seeking reward in monetary or possessional gains.  I don’t even know what kind of reward I had been seeking.  But if “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6), then I’ve already claimed my reward.  

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

The Little Things.

I am not one of those people who easily overlooks the little things. Little things matter.

I know someone who constantly forgets to tell me minor things or he will play them down.

The key here is that I said “constantly.” All of these little things add up to create big things: resentment, frustration, anger, stress. Examples:

  1. Last minute changes:
    • Forgetting to keep me in the loop inconveniences me to drop what I’m doing and rush something through. The saying “Lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine” doesn’t always hold true, especially in business.
  2. When he forgets something, and I have to remind him:
    • I am not his mother nor am I his wife. I do not enjoy nagging someone to get me required information in order to perform a specific task. And I don’t mean to perform a task well, I mean to perform the task at all.

We all have those people in our lives that consistently repeat disrespectful habits. They type and scroll on their phone while we’re talking to them. They show up late everywhere they go. Whatever it is; I’m guilty of these bad habits too. But we’re more likely to be accommodating when the habits aren’t actually habits at all, but something that just happens occasionally.

A colleague and I frequently talk about intent vs. impact. We may not intend to do something, but the intent really doesn’t matter. The impact the action has is what matters. (And obviously I’m not speaking on this from a criminal offense perspective.)

How we perceive something (the impact) is our reality.

While we may not intend to offend someone with our actions, whether that is being forgetful, distracted, or whatever it may be, be mindful of the impact these actions have on others. It’s as simple as treating others as you would like to be treated.