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When Hindsight is 20/20, and the Future is Bright.
A couple of months before I quit my job, I was talking to a friend about a friend. The friend I was talking about made a big, hairy, audacious decision (I’m tweaking “BHAG“), and her life flourished afterward. I explained that is how life is supposed to go. Things are supposed to fall into place when you’re making the right decisions. Under tears, I asked, “What are the right decisions that I’m not making?” Because both my work life and my personal life had gotten much harder. Going into the new job in 2021, I was aware of some reservations. Ultimately, I chose to listen to my head rather than…
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Closure.
Making sense of something we have lost is the acceptance stage of grief. Seeking closure can stem from any form of loss, not just the loss of a relationship. An explanation or answer as to why we lost something can provide us with the opportunity to learn something about ourselves or the other person or situation (whatever it may be). Closure exists on a scale; different personalities may be more prone to seek closure than others. Not receiving closure for people who need it can lead to psychological distress. One study found that people who prefer order and predictability – having a more rigid way of thinking and a low tolerance for ambiguity…
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Transformation.
Do you ever go through periods of life where you feel God working within you? What this looks like may be different for each of us, but for me, I feel uneasy, restless, and emotional, yet hopeful, motivated, and inspired. I recognize these feelings when they appear and know that I am going through a transformational change. In most change models, we create a picture of what we think the solution should be, then work hard to make reality fit that picture. We try to dominate the situation. I have a friend who is super Type A, logical, and analytical. This would be his approach to change. You create a…
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Independent.
I was talking to a friend who asked, “Why would people think that I wouldn’t settle down?” 😬 That, is a loaded question, my friend. While marriage and a family are important to him, he’s been self-reliant and independent for a very long time. He thinks he’s open with information, but he’s actually quite reserved. He tells you what you need to know (logically) and not much more (emotionally). He’s had relationships, but not real meaningful ones. And they’re not meaningful, because he defaults to independent and self-reliant behavior with no emotional vulnerability to build connection. He thinks no one is going to do something as good as he’s going…
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Emotion.
I write a lot about emotions and feeling them. Psychology fascinates me, so it’s not surprising that this is where my writing leans. But throughout my business and leadership readings, trainings, and experiences, it’s become quite evident to me how much emotion plays a part in our daily lives – and how many people dismiss it as playing an important part in our daily lives. In a TED Talk presented by Harvard Medical School Psychologist Susan David, she performed a study of 70,000 people and found that 1/3 of these people judge or actively try to push aside “bad” emotions such as grief, anger, or sadness. Normal, natural emotions are now seen…