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The Humbling Kind of Hard.
“Choose your hard.” A phrase, I think, coined by Mel Robbins. While the obstacles we run into are typically not our choice, how we respond to those obstacles is within our control. A while back, I mentioned that I felt I was breaking when I quit my job. Several months later, that is more true now than it was then. I am not someone who typically makes unplanned decisions or doesn’t have a back-up plan. But I followed my intuition in that decision, and I know it was ultimately for the better. When everyone told me I was not going to have any trouble finding another job, I also knew…
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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
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Self-Betrayal.
I think most of us would agree that we are not in the practice of self-betrayal. We don’t intentionally do things or make decisions that would purposefully bring us harm. Except we do make decisions that unintentionally do bring us harm. When we are presented with a choice, we have the option of honoring our morals, values, beliefs, desires, etc. or betraying them. When you make the “right” decision, there are usually positive side effects. When you make the “wrong” decision, it can lead to all sorts of negative effects. I was recently presented with a choice. A very big decision had to be made and there were a lot of moving parts. I chose to move forward, because I didn’t want to be…
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Strength.
I was recently asked, “What makes you feel strong?” The question caught me off-guard, and I did a quick analysis of my life. I thought about my job, being a volunteer, public speaking, relationships, travel, the programs I’ve been part of, the opportunities I’ve had, and being a leader. Without much conscious thought, I replied, “I feel strongest in my weakest moments.” Then I got caught off-guard by my own response, and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m realizing how true the statement is. There have been times where I am curled up in a ball, crying, feeling every piece of my heart break 💔, experiencing extremely deep hurts that translate into actual…
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Independent.
I was talking to a friend who asked, “Why would people think that I wouldn’t settle down?” 😬 That, is a loaded question, my friend. While marriage and a family are important to him, he’s been self-reliant and independent for a very long time. He thinks he’s open with information, but he’s actually quite reserved. He tells you what you need to know (logically) and not much more (emotionally). He’s had relationships, but not real meaningful ones. And they’re not meaningful, because he defaults to independent and self-reliant behavior with no emotional vulnerability to build connection. He thinks no one is going to do something as good as he’s going…
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Impeccable.
In the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz defines impeccable as “without sin”. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself. Don Miguel Ruiz Who we are has been shaped by the morals, values, opinions, judgments, and fears of those around us. Most notably, our parents who have influenced our entire belief system since birth. How do we know who we really are when so much of who we are has been influenced by others? Their thoughts have become engrained in our minds as if they are our own. Personally, I think this is why emotional intelligence and self-awareness is critical to our function. Our bodies react to our emotions. When we pay…