by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Intuition.

Did you know that there is a lot of chatter in the medical community about our gut being our second brain? So when you “go with your gut” or have a “gut feeling”, there really is something to say for that. Scientists call this second brain our enteric nervous system (ENS), and it is made up of more than 100 million nerve cells 😳 that line our gastrointestinal tract from our esophagus to our rectum.

The ENS isn’t capable of thoughts as we know them coming from our brain, but it does communicate back and forth with our brain. Researchers and doctors thought that depression and anxiety contributed to the emotional shifts experienced by people who suffer from irritable bowel syndrome and functional bowel problems such as constipation and bloating. But now, they are finding evidence that the irritation in the gastrointestinal system may actually be sending signals to our central nervous system triggering mood changes. 🤯 Isn’t that interesting? Our gut may tell us when we have a digestive problem by shifting our mood.

A lot of times our intuition is reflected in a “gut feeing.” So, is intuition our brain telling our gut to react or our gut telling our brain to react?

Intuition is a form of knowledge that appears in consciousness without obvious deliberation. It is not magical but rather a faculty in which hunches are generated by the unconscious mind rapidly sifting through past experience and cumulative knowledge.

Psychology Today

We develop our intuition based on patterns. Logical knowledge certainly plays a part, but sometimes analyzing data and information doesn’t provide us with the answers we need, so we turn to our intuition for additional guidance.

I am highly sensitive to my surroundings and my emotions. When I experience something, I pick up on subtle details that others may not pay attention to, such as: the vibe in the room, smells, sounds, behaviors, and how these things make me feel. I use multiple senses to receive information, creating a strong experience that resonates personally. I then (consciously and subconsciously) deeply process this information storing it for a later date.

By having the additional information from multiple senses and deeply processing it, I’m better equipped to follow my intuition in a future similar experience. When like-situations arise, I don’t need to mull anything over. I’ve already done the analyzing. I can quickly make a decision and move on.

Since I perceive things stronger when I associate experiences with how they make me feel, my intuition arises more in something that I just know rather than in a gut feeling. My brain doesn’t need to send the signals to the nerve cells in my ENS prompting a feeling to arise. I’ve already felt all I need to feel to come to a decision.

Let me give you an example…

Dating. 🙄 When someone I know recommends I date someone, and I flat out say, “No, I’m not interested.” Follow-up remarks usually go something like this, “How do you know? You never gave him a chance. You never know until you try.” The thing is though, I do know.

Either from past interactions with the potential suitor or based on information provided to me about the potential suitor, I’ve already come to a conclusion about this guy. It’s nothing against him personally. It’s just that I pick up on all these subtle details in my interactions with people and invest a lot of time and emotion into processing those details.

When I learn about or interact with a potential suitor and I either consciously or subconsciously associate his traits to past experiences with himself or other people, I don’t need to “take a chance” on dating him. I’ve already invested energy on a like-person and determined they’re not worth my time (in a romantic capacity or otherwise), so why would this guy be? But again, it is nothing against him personally. For better or worse, this is just how my brain processes information.

Of course, our intuition isn’t full proof, and I can be wrong. But intuition is more reliable in some areas than others such as forming first impressions, detecting deception, and detecting sexual orientation – all things that are very relevant and important when pursing a romantic relationship.

People have accused me of being judgmental, having high standards, and being cold-hearted when I decline the opportunity to date someone who is likely a really great guy. But if we take being judgmental (which is based on logic and reason), having high standards, and being cold-hearted and apply these qualities in business, I would be praised for my confidence and acumen.

The ability to know myself so well that I can react intuitively on personal matters is seen negatively when my ability to react intuitively in business is seen positively. It’s a shame that this is how society has shaped our perspectives. It’s no wonder we have a hard time being true to ourselves. Emotional intelligence is so undervalued. 😒

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by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Insecurity.

I had a conversation with a friend who said he has no insecurities.  Now, given this specific person, I get why he would think that.  He is not short on self-confidence, that is for sure. 💁🏻‍♂️ But insecurity can rear it’s ugly head in a lot of different forms.  He is confident in his abilities.  But insecurity can be driven by a lot of outside factors too. When he was unsure of the stock market, he pulled out.  If he was not confident that the market was going to perform well and reacted to the instability out of fear of losing money, is that not insecure? 

Insecure is defined as: deficient in assurance, not confident, not stable or well-adjusted.  Basically, we can be insecure about anything that we are not sure of.  If there is doubt, there is insecurity.

In any event…

It is suggested that recent life events make up 40% of our “happiness quotient.” 40%! 😳

“The biggest negative contributor to happiness is the ending of a relationship, followed by the death of a spouse, job loss, and negative health events.”

Dr. Melanie Greenberg

All of those examples constitute loss: loss of a relationship, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of health.  If we look at this through the lens of COVID, we’ve lost a lot.  So if you’re feeling a little insecure during this pandemic, you are not alone!  There are so. many. things. to be unsure of during this time.

Back in February, I went to the Touchstone Central Coast Leading with Love conference where the woman behind Happier, Nataly Kogan, spoke with us.  I recently saw this on her Instagram, and I think it is a helpful reminder that there is reason for our heightened insecurity during this time.

Insecurity can also be driven by perfectionism. What Nataly outlines is the fear of not enough. And while we may not consider ourselves perfectionists, if we’ve ever fallen into the trap of not enough, it may be time to reality check our expectations and what we are measuring them up to. Even if we are measuring our expectations up to our pre-pandemic conditions, reality. check. ✅ Pre-pandemic and “amidst a pandemic” are completely different animals.

It’s okay to feel melancholy.  It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to feel insecure.  We are adjusting to a new normal, give yourself time to adjust and adapt!  It’s important to find joy in little wins all the time, but even more so now.  This is uncharted territory for us all.  Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself.  This too shall pass. 🙏🏼

by : lacylit10 Farming, Leadership

The Middle.

During my United Fresh Produce Industry Leadership Program (#class24 💕), we had an incredibly smart, talented, and beautiful lady guiding us.  Her name was Julie, and she was fabulous.  (Still is!)  She had a very polite and kind way of telling you some honest truths.  She was blunt and funny.  She said a lot of memorable things during our time, but the one that keeps coming to my mind in the midst of this coronavirus pandemic is this: “Get the hell out of middle management as fast as you can.” (Her words exactly.)

Middle managers experience compression by those they lead and those who lead them.  It’s a tough place to be.  As we try to operate as an essential business providing food for millions of Americans who are sheltered in their homes, the amount of pressure and responsibility being placed on our societal function and our team has increased tenfold.

When the CDC first released guidance on preventative measures, it wasn’t anything we weren’t already doing.  Food contact surfaces are routinely cleaned and sanitized, employees frequently wash and sanitize their hands; they are supposed to cough into their elbow, and they are not permitted to come to work sick (among many other good health and hygiene best practices).  But the existing measures we had in place were not enough to protect the health of our employees and the safety of our products, additional measures had/have to be taken.

While our senior leadership is in direct communication with other business executives, regulatory agencies, and trade associations, the role of our middle managers has become even more critical in our day-to-day operations.  The information and guidance we receive changes by the hour.  We are scrambling to keep up, inform our middle managers, train our employees, and enforce many new policies – on top of an already full workload, and entering our busiest season 🥬.

“Middle managers have a complicated relationship with power because power is activated and experienced in the context of interpersonal relationships. When interacting with our superiors, we naturally adopt a more deferential low-power behavioral style. When interacting with subordinates, on the other hand, we adopt a more assertive high-power behavioral style. Failure to conform to these role-based expectations can lead to social conflicts and confusion, so people are very good at learning how to play the part that is expected of them.”

Erin M. Ancich and Jacob B. Hirsh (HBR)

Research shows that there are cognitive, emotional, and behavioral effects to power.  As middle managers navigate between high power (leading) and low power (being led), it becomes psychologically challenging to engage and disengage from one power level to another, often many times throughout a typical workday.  These conflicting roles cause feelings of stress, anxiety, and tension leading to physical risk factors such as heart disease and hypertension. In a study from Columbia University and University of Toronto, they found that mid-level employees have higher rates of anxiety and depression, adding to the long list of why middle managers are so unhappy.

Humans are inefficient when it comes to switching tasks, and it creates a negative mood spillover as we move from one task to another or one power level to another.  Middle managers are victims and carriers of change as they receive strategy instructions from the top and have to implement those strategies with those who work beneath them.  We’ve had to institute at least 10 new policies over the past 2 weeks in response to this pandemic – a taxing feat for anyone, let alone already worn down middle managers.

Most people believe that their time in middle management will be short-lived, but reality is that these employees are classified as just “stuck in the middle of everything.” They have an undergraduate degree, but not a graduate degree. They are 5-10 years into their careers, and they’re just good performers (not excellent, but not terrible either). I would also venture to guess these are the people in the midst of raising a family as well. They are considered a “neglected but critical” group.

But the #1 reason middle managers are unhappy is that they are led ineffectively. Again, middle managers stuck in the middle: expected to be good leaders when they’re not being led well.

True colors come out in times of crisis.  As Brené Brown says, “We can be our worst selves or our very best, bravest selves.”  We have a lot at stake right now, not just in health and economics, but also in business and society.  Strong leadership is essential, always.  We need to choose to be our best, bravest selves. We need to lead as we wish to be led! So, let’s lean on each other, support each other, and lift each other up. ✨💖