I have so many unpublished post drafts in my dashboard, countless others in a Word document, and several others in a Google Drive folder. As always, I’ve been taking some time to reflect. When I read through these posts, it’s an insightful reminder of the emotions felt, lessons learned, and journey taken over the past year.
Many posts do not get published, because my thoughts feel incomplete or I feel the post will be read in standalone judgement rather than in the greater context of who I am and what I write about. I don’t want my thoughts on a specific topic to be taken the wrong way, especially when I am usually always open-minded, inquisitive, generally speaking, and most importantly: still learning.
I wanted to be a writer ever since I can remember. When I look at successful writers and how they got their start through blogging, the story is mostly the same: frequent publishing and sharing – neither of which I really do. They say that to be a professional writer, you need to have been published and paid for your work as a main occupation. Sounds stressful to me, honestly. I want to be comfortable with the words I publish. Topics are usually meaningful, and my thoughts cannot be rushed to reach a deadline.
Dreams change.
Sure, I would love to see my name atop a best seller list. But today, I am content. It’s not a dream I want to chase at this stage of my life, and I am pleased to publish what I want when I want to my handful of readers. (So thank you for stopping by. ☺️)
I’ve actually been feeling professional contentment for a few months now. And can I just tell you how freaking amazing it feels?
A master’s degree was something I kind of always wanted, but never really thought I would get. Done. ✅ And I recently started a new job at the level I had been working so hard to reach. ✅ The milestones I set for myself have been achieved, and at this point, I don’t have anything specific on the horizon. It feels so. incredibly. peaceful. to be able to just enjoy the view. 🌅
But that’s not to say I’m not working on other goals. At Facts from Farmers, we’ve been non-publicly working with growers in our community to do amazing things for our farmworkers. I’ve been spending intentional time with family and friends, and giving myself the grace to know when I won’t be bringing them my best self. And Kali and I have become BFFs while leisurely working on our roping partnership.
This is more for me than it is for you, but it’s okay to plateau. It’s okay to put dreams on hold. It’s also okay to scrap those dreams all together.
I’ve been hustling for 10+ years to get where I am. And truthfully, where I am, isn’t even a dream I knew I had until I started working toward it.
When I intentionally think about when people refer to life as a crazy ride, I can’t help but chuckle how true the statement is. It is full of unexpected twists and turns. There are uphill climbs that you anticipate, where the downward side may be an unexpected drop or a relatively smooth transition. It might be like the Haunted Mansion, where something jumps out and surprises you. It might be like Indiana Jones, when you’re focused on the giant rock coming toward you, but God has other plans and sweeps you away to something else.
I’ve said it time and time again, we learn, we grow, and we change. It would be silly of us to think that our dreams don’t evolve too. But more importantly, we need to recognize when those dreams do change, or diminish, or come true.
