Support is defined as “bear all or part of the weight of” and “give assistance to.” Support. requires. action. So why do so many people think that simply saying, “I support you” is supportive? 😒 Then have you ever had someone support you with actual help in a task, and then they ask, “What more do you want from me?” when you feel the supportive action wasn’t enough?
Here is how I picture it:
Each person is a railroad engineer. All of your forward progression adds another rail car, whether it be home responsibilities, work tasks, familial obligations, and even hobbies (because sometimes those become obligations when you are feeling overwhelmed). Some people can sustain hauling that weight for long periods of time, others need rest stops or a tow once in a while. The problem is that no one can see how long the train is except for the person who is hauling the load.
Some have better engines. Some are better engineers. Some can haul more weight. Some are carrying heavier loads in less cars. Sometimes external factors change the environment that affect the performance, and sometimes adding one more rail car can break. the. train. down.
Paul Zak says that what we do at work and at home feedback on each other, and we shouldn’t pretend that it doesn’t. Using our railroad analogy, we cannot unhinge a work car from in between a family car and a health car while sitting on a single track.
If our natural inclination is to serve others before self, then why is offering support something that does not seem to come naturally? Sometimes offering support doesn’t even come in the form of work. Sometimes, it’s just being empathetic and compassionate, making that person feel seen and heard. Support can be simple gestures of appreciation. Support looks different to different people, but it all requires action.
