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Self and Tolerance.
The problem with becoming self-aware is that you begin to notice all the wrongs. What I mean is that your triggers seem to increase as you recognize how traits and behaviors of others impact you. Even more, you begin to realize that you have unknowingly accepted a level of treatment that you now know is unhealthy for you. As a leader, we are sometimes required to tolerate things that we wouldn’t normally tolerate. Whether it be in your home life or your work life, there is undoubtedly someone that you accept poor treatment from because you have to. And I say “have to” because it may not be immediately feasible…
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Lull.
A lull is defined as a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity. I’m in a writing lull. Not because I don’t have anything to write about, but because I have so many thoughts going through my head that I can’t pin them down into a single flowable post. I have a personality that has been described as having “a rich inner life.” I think some people would say I’m someone who over analyzes everything … In my defense, I do most of it quietly without anyone knowing, so it’s not like I’m annoying people with my constant questioning of who, what, when, where, why, and how everything in…
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Grief.
Suffering is part of human existence. This is fact. Every person in the world has lost something of significance and gone into a process of grieving. Grief takes on different forms for different people. Some numb pain; some deny through avoidance, and some lean into the pain. Loss is unavoidable. Grief comes after loss, and psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross believed that there are 5 stages of grief. They are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There has been criticisms of this grief theory among social scientists. I don’t love it or hate it. I do think grief is a process, but I don’t necessarily think there is a structure (that we grieve in this consecutive order). Grief affects…
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Self-Betrayal.
I think most of us would agree that we are not in the practice of self-betrayal. We don’t intentionally do things or make decisions that would purposefully bring us harm. Except we do make decisions that unintentionally do bring us harm. When we are presented with a choice, we have the option of honoring our morals, values, beliefs, desires, etc. or betraying them. When you make the “right” decision, there are usually positive side effects. When you make the “wrong” decision, it can lead to all sorts of negative effects. I was recently presented with a choice. A very big decision had to be made and there were a lot of moving parts. I chose to move forward, because I didn’t want to be…
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Transformation.
Do you ever go through periods of life where you feel God working within you? What this looks like may be different for each of us, but for me, I feel uneasy, restless, and emotional, yet hopeful, motivated, and inspired. I recognize these feelings when they appear and know that I am going through a transformational change. In most change models, we create a picture of what we think the solution should be, then work hard to make reality fit that picture. We try to dominate the situation. I have a friend who is super Type A, logical, and analytical. This would be his approach to change. You create a…
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Avoidance.
We all value the importance of communication, but so many people avoid conversations that make them feel uncomfortable – which doesn’t solve anything. It actually makes everything worse. I’m not going to go into examples here. We all know how it feels when we don’t feel as though we’re being listened to. I tried to have one of these uncomfortable conversations with someone. I told him what I wanted to talk about, and we agreed to have the conversation at a later time when we would both be prepared to do so. But that later discussion never happened. This person invited me to have a seat at the table, then never let me pull up…