by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

All the Things I Have Done.

This morning, I sat in my office, sipped my coffee, and looked around, pondering the thoughts that have been in my head all week and which I wanted to dive into for this post. As I sat there, I thought less about the chaos that happened over the past week and became overwhelmingly grateful. 

There are little reminders of the life I built for myself all throughout the room. The books on the shelves remind me of all the knowledge I’ve accumulated. The photos of my dog remind me that my heart is still healing from the loss. The lanyards and name tags from conferences and expos remind me of meeting incredible people from around the U.S. who are passionate about produce. The jewelry box my cousin made reminds me of the times he used to babysit us. It holds the watch my grandma used to always wear, and it reminds me of her. 

I reflect quite a bit, but it’s usually on individual things, like the conversation I had with my uncle, the op-ed I wrote that was published in the paper, the interactions I had with a colleague, or the behaviors of a family member – all things I thought I would be writing about this morning.

But this room in my house tells a story about my life, and I never really took the time to consider the story as a whole. I mostly just reviewed certain chapters. As I had been reflecting on all the things I could have done, the artifacts in this room show me all the things I. have. done. 

The collection may be of things, but many are meaningful items that represent my uniqueness. From the spiritual (bible verse written on a 3×5 card) to the practical (bills that need to be paid), and from the playful (camera and GoPro) to even the little weird (javelina skull), each represents a different area of my life that brings me joy. (Yes, even the bills. They mean I am financially independent with the luxuries of a roof over my head, electricity, and internet.)

It’s so easy to get caught up in the trap of what we think our lives could have or should have been. It’s also easy to get caught up in the “I wish”-es. It’s hard not to compare or want otherwise for yourself, (past or future), based on the influence of others. 

But we were not meant to follow anyone’s path, except for the one God has planned for us. As I reflect on the journey that got me to this point, I can’t help but be reminded that He knows exactly what He is doing. I am where I am supposed to be, and all the things I have done make me who I am today. And the things that I have done are a great reminder that who I am today has limitless potential for tomorrow.

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Sharing is Caring.

A colleague recently recommended I listen to an episode of a podcast called The Happiness Lab by Dr. Laurie Santos, but I accidentally listened to the wrong one. It was called “Caring What You’re Sharing.” I can’t really say it was an accident though, because the message actually helped solidify some thoughts I had swirling around. I’m inclined to believe there was a reason I listened the “wrong” episode.

Have you ever watched a movie with someone, and that person falls asleep? Or maybe when two of you go to dinner, but the other is on their phone? Think about how those circumstances make you feel. A little ignored? A little mad? A little lonely?

Turns out, sharing experiences with people really does shape our happiness.

Through a series of experiments, researchers found that sharing things with people intensifies our experiences. It makes the good things better and the bad things worse. But bad experiences are more bearable because someone is by our side. It serves as a function of bonding people together.

In one experiment, participants experienced an ordinary event with someone and an extraordinary event alone. What the researchers found is that the extraordinary event experienced alone actually made people feel less happy and a little bit isolated. They even felt a little guilty. Participants felt like they were bragging about their experience and neglected to want to share details because the other person couldn’t relate, detracting from the social bonding.

Have you ever had a friend tell you really good news where yes, you are happy for them, but at the same time feel a little sad or insecure for yourself? Or have you ever had something exciting happen for you but you downplayed the greatness, because you didn’t want to come off as arrogant or boastful?

I have. And honestly, I’m a little relieved that these are natural behaviors.

As we enter the holiday season, I think it’s a good reminder to just be aware. If you love this time of year, soak it up. Your happiness will rub off on others. And if you hate this time of year, suck it up. Your misery will rub off on others.

In leadership, we are taught to rise above our lowest self. So even if you don’t want to bond with crazy Aunt Mildred*, look for the bravery in her eccentrics. Even if you don’t want to hear about how much cousin Jim* hates his job, encourage him to see the positive. Because if you care about these people at all, your interactions and behavior will shape each of your experiences.

*Names changed to protect the innocent. 😂