by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

All the Things I Can Do.

I have never been a big dreamer, and I’m actually somewhat thankful for that. I’m far too practical and reasonable to dream big. I feel big dreams have the potential to put unattainable goals in your distant future, and too many variables can pop up between now and then. I would rather take opportunities as they come or plan for things within a timeframe that is practical, reasonable, and attainable. 

I’m also quite aware that the future is not guaranteed. I have a hard time dreaming or planning too far ahead knowing full well the opportunity may never come. 

In the beginning of a leadership training I attended, a group of us were asked what we would do if we found out we only had a month to live. Most people responded that they would travel. I was the only person who said I would prefer to spend time at home with family and friends. Luggage, airports, airplanes, strangers, cab drivers, currency exchanges – honestly, ugh. That is not how I want to spend the last few weeks of my life.

It’s the people that we share experiences with that matter, and the idea of sharing my last days with people who care about me far exceeds my desire to explore the world. I want my last days to be filled with love, laughter, gratitude, and meaningful moments, not bustling streets in different parts of the world, exploring different cultures that put me outside my comfort zone. No. I want quiet, peaceful, safe, and comfortable. That atmosphere with friends and family will fill my cup up, and that’s how I want to remember living my life – fulfilled.

When I ponder the future and the opportunities that lie ahead, it’s foggy. I don’t know what it looks like beyond a short distance in front of me. And I’m okay with that.

For so long, I’ve been working on stretching myself so far that I’ve become a slave to my own routines, and the rules I’ve created for myself to be professionally successful. Make sure I get 8 hours of sleep. Eat dinner at a decent hour. Don’t stay out late on a work night. But my personality is actually far more easy going than the boundaries I’ve created for myself to operate within. But my commitments and obligations required structure in order for me to prioritize and complete. I spread myself thin, and it required a bit of rigidity.

What I hope (and have been planning) for, is more flexibility, so I have the availability to take opportunities as they come. 

I once heard that life is what happens when you least expect it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a blueprint in your back pocket. I think that’s a healthy and realistic way to approach life. My family, friends, values, morals, and ethics are the roots that keep me grounded. My finances, home, and career make up the trunk that keeps me stable. The branches represent the unexpected – all the different things I can do and all the different directions those opportunities may point me. Some grow long and strong, others stay short, and some break off.

I can confidently say that I finally feel like I am to a point where my roots are deep, and my trunk is strong enough to withhold future growth from a variety of different experiences. And I am excited for what that may bring.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Transformation.

Do you ever go through periods of life where you feel God working within you? What this looks like may be different for each of us, but for me, I feel uneasy, restless, and emotional, yet hopeful, motivated, and inspired. I recognize these feelings when they appear and know that I am going through a transformational change.

In most change models, we create a picture of what we think the solution should be, then work hard to make reality fit that picture. We try to dominate the situation. I have a friend who is super Type A, logical, and analytical. This would be his approach to change. You create a game plan, and you stick to the game plan.

Transformational change activates the power of vision and humility to face the mysteries of life. We control what we can control, and roll with the punches that we cannot. This is my approach to change. You cultivate discipline of good planning, and adapt to the situation as it is in each moment.

I always say that you need to find comfort in the uncomfortable, but that does not mean that it is comfortable. Susan David says that tough emotions are part of our contract for a meaningful life. Discomfort is movement and growth.

In talking about her sobriety journey, Glennon Doyle says she hasn’t felt fine in 17 years. I’m not an alcoholic, nor have I been, but I so related to this comment. I am a deep feeler. As someone who is constantly seeking personal and professional growth, I am always in a state of discomfort.

The societal expectation is that we don’t talk about our feelings. Feelings are for sissies. I actually find that notion hilarious, because it is the opposite that is true. Remember when I wrote about the definition of courage and talking about our feelings? It is much easier for me to write about my feelings, but to say them out loud? Oy vey. 🤦🏻‍♀️

It is hard to live in a constant state of discomfort. Sometimes, it is so. incredibly. difficult. But feelings are meant to be felt, that’s why we have them! They exist to prompt you into moving! It may seem easier to avoid our feelings, but avoiding our feelings is what drives a lot of people to alcoholism or drugs. They don’t want to feel. I’m sure most of us would agree that it’s probably better to feel what we feel than be driven to addiction. No? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like the only thing that would be worse than feeling feelings would be not feeling them at all. Could you imagine? You have to have the good and the bad. It’s not a one or the other.

When I lost my dog, my heart didn’t just break; it shattered. 💔 It was in pieces, and I had physical reactions to the pain. It was a deeper hurt than I had experienced in a very, very long time. But even through my grief, I was accepting of the pain, the hurt, and the trauma. All those deeply negative emotions gave profound meaning to her existence and her purpose in my life.

Although I am in a constant state of improvement, transformational change is different. It comes from deep within. It’s like an accumulation of weeks, months or years worth of discomfort in growth coming to a head. Although it’s rough to navigate through, I know good things are on the horizon. And that is so. damn. exciting.

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by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

2020.

I always look forward to a new year. The down time of the holidays give us time to reflect and be thankful. As Christmas passes, it leaves me feeling hopeful and excited about what’s about to come. And this year will be 2020. Doesn’t that just sound epic?

I can’t believe how much life has changed for me since 2010. I started working in agriculture and made significant strides in my career. I finished my Associates and Bachelor’s degrees. I got Rae and said goodbye to her as well. 💔 I took up archery and hunting and traveled to places I never thought I’d go. I also started volunteering and making a difference in my community.

Life was always kind of hard for me. I never knew what I wanted, how I fit in, or who I really was. It was confusing and trying. Now, it feels like I have the answers to all of those things.

What I like about reflecting on the past is recognizing how the puzzle pieces fit together. Everything I’ve done seems to perfectly add up to have gotten me where I am today.

And that makes me so happy. It gives me faith that the future will work out the way that it’s supposed to. 🙏🏼 It makes me less fearful of the unknown. And it makes me so excited to see what the future holds.

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