by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

2020.

I always look forward to a new year. The down time of the holidays give us time to reflect and be thankful. As Christmas passes, it leaves me feeling hopeful and excited about what’s about to come. And this year will be 2020. Doesn’t that just sound epic?

I can’t believe how much life has changed for me since 2010. I started working in agriculture and made significant strides in my career. I finished my Associates and Bachelor’s degrees. I got Rae and said goodbye to her as well. 💔 I took up archery and hunting and traveled to places I never thought I’d go. I also started volunteering and making a difference in my community.

Life was always kind of hard for me. I never knew what I wanted, how I fit in, or who I really was. It was confusing and trying. Now, it feels like I have the answers to all of those things.

What I like about reflecting on the past is recognizing how the puzzle pieces fit together. Everything I’ve done seems to perfectly add up to have gotten me where I am today.

And that makes me so happy. It gives me faith that the future will work out the way that it’s supposed to. 🙏🏼 It makes me less fearful of the unknown. And it makes me so excited to see what the future holds.

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by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Friends & Family.

People never cease to amaze me – and today, I mean that in a good way! Over the past several years, I’ve grown a part from many friends and have gained many others. It doesn’t mean that I think less of those friends I don’t see or speak to often, it means that our lives have taken different directions.

As 2019 comes to a close, I think of all of that’s changed. They say that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. As I reflect on my friendships, old and new, I understand why these people have come and gone (or stayed) in my life. Some I expect to reconnect with once our lives re-align. Others, I recognize our time together has passed.

The thing about family though is that even when you grow a part, you are still tied together. While my professional life has taken turns that I never expected, my personal life has stayed pretty constant. Over the past several years, I’ve seen cousins marry and have children, grow in their careers and quit unhappy jobs. We’ve had health scares and hospital visits. We’ve celebrated life and mourned it as well.

I was talking to my brother-in-law a couple of weeks ago, and he said, “People don’t get our family.” I laughed. The Litten Compound is full of adventure. Between the nighttime flashlight and .22 meet-ups, the trophy photos of gophers and moles and skunks and possums and raccoons, to the rain gauge water thefts and falling trees, there is rarely a dull moment.

That adventure follows us Litten’s wherever we go. We have an amazing support system of loving and caring friends and family that thankfully find our lifestyle entertaining and choose to be part of it. But if I’m being honest, it’s taken me time to appreciate the quirks, and the changes.

I’m learning to embrace the changes and the uniqueness of our dynamic group, and it has me feeling incredibly proud of the adults my cousins have grown into, grateful that we can still depend on one another, and thankful that we’ve been raised the way we were. Looking around my social circle, I’m in disbelief that these intelligent, outgoing, motivated, and good-humored people include me in their ranks.

You are who you surround yourself with, so look around. There is so much to be thankful this holiday season.

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Sharing is Caring.

A colleague recently recommended I listen to an episode of a podcast called The Happiness Lab by Dr. Laurie Santos, but I accidentally listened to the wrong one. It was called “Caring What You’re Sharing.” I can’t really say it was an accident though, because the message actually helped solidify some thoughts I had swirling around. I’m inclined to believe there was a reason I listened the “wrong” episode.

Have you ever watched a movie with someone, and that person falls asleep? Or maybe when two of you go to dinner, but the other is on their phone? Think about how those circumstances make you feel. A little ignored? A little mad? A little lonely?

Turns out, sharing experiences with people really does shape our happiness.

Through a series of experiments, researchers found that sharing things with people intensifies our experiences. It makes the good things better and the bad things worse. But bad experiences are more bearable because someone is by our side. It serves as a function of bonding people together.

In one experiment, participants experienced an ordinary event with someone and an extraordinary event alone. What the researchers found is that the extraordinary event experienced alone actually made people feel less happy and a little bit isolated. They even felt a little guilty. Participants felt like they were bragging about their experience and neglected to want to share details because the other person couldn’t relate, detracting from the social bonding.

Have you ever had a friend tell you really good news where yes, you are happy for them, but at the same time feel a little sad or insecure for yourself? Or have you ever had something exciting happen for you but you downplayed the greatness, because you didn’t want to come off as arrogant or boastful?

I have. And honestly, I’m a little relieved that these are natural behaviors.

As we enter the holiday season, I think it’s a good reminder to just be aware. If you love this time of year, soak it up. Your happiness will rub off on others. And if you hate this time of year, suck it up. Your misery will rub off on others.

In leadership, we are taught to rise above our lowest self. So even if you don’t want to bond with crazy Aunt Mildred*, look for the bravery in her eccentrics. Even if you don’t want to hear about how much cousin Jim* hates his job, encourage him to see the positive. Because if you care about these people at all, your interactions and behavior will shape each of your experiences.

*Names changed to protect the innocent. 😂

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Guilt.

I recently read a quote that said you need to put others’ needs before your own. As someone trained in leadership, I know that you cannot be a successful leader without first taking care of yourself. You are at the foundation of your leadership, and if the foundation is weak, everything else will be too.

Rachel Hollis lists her priorities:

  1. Herself
  2. Her marriage
  3. Her children

Most people would look at this list and totally give her flack for putting herself and her husband before her children, but I get it and fully stand behind her. You know that saying, “When mom doesn’t feel good, no one feels good”? Everyone feels the effects of a weak leader, whether that leader is a CEO or parent or both.

I was talking to a friend the other day and told her, “I’ve been strong too long.” Everything has compounded, until I ultimately could no longer carry the weight and started to give. It’s no different than when you are sick. If you keep going, you will stay sick longer. But if you stop, rest, and give your body what it needs, you will recover more quickly.

Why is it less acceptable to treat our heart and soul in the same way? Self-care is critical to our function. Just because we can’t see something, doesn’t mean it’s not there. (I can go into a whole behavioral health tangent, but I will save that for another day.)

I had no plans this weekend. For the first time in months, I had no weekend commitment. And as we gear up for the Holidays, this was my only free weekend for another few weeks. And then…it came….a text…

“Playing for the Championships 10:30.” 😫 Instant guilt. My heart literally sank.

In my head, all I could think was no. I am not ready for this. I haven’t had enough time to recuperate. If I go, it will be out of obligation not desire. Then I will be slightly resentful, because this little thing is just one. more. thing. I haven’t even recovered from all the other things. And the healing weekend I had prepared for myself last weekend did not go as planned (which added to the things). And let’s be real, I had no outside weekend commitment, no event, no fundraiser, no family function. But there is still laundry, dishes, yard work and bills to pay, it’s not like I’m doing nothing this weekend. So feeling like a terrible person, I replied, “Not going to make it, but best of luck.”

I know my body, my, heart, and my soul. I know that I can carry a lot of weight, so when I say no, I mean no. And that should be respected. Instead, we are often made to feel guilty about choosing ones self. And in this case, I put the guilt on myself. Women, especially, I think do this all the time. Moms probably even more so. We are so focused on protecting the feelings of others that we neglect our own. But we cannot control how others feel.

We give so much of ourselves to our work, our family, our friends, and our community. Remember that post on the Work-Life Balance? Same applies with give and take. Life is giving and taking.

Lately, I’ve given so much of myself to my work and my community that today, I just did not have the energy to give my time to family too. Instead, I took that time for myself. Because I know that if I did not take this time to ease my soul, I would have been piling on more to an already weak foundation. With the holidays coming up, work and community will take a back seat to family. While I do feel bad for missing the game, opportunity to show I care will present itself soon enough.

Just like the work-life balance, let’s look at the give and take with a wider lens. Lately, work and community held more weight. In the upcoming weeks, life and family will hold more weight. So I’m not going to feel guilty for taking some time to recalibrate, because I want to appreciate the relationships, uphold the traditions, enjoy the company, and feel the love that the holidays bring. Those are the things that give our life meaning, and I don’t want to go into it with a burden of being one. more. thing.