by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Finding A Place to Shine.

The last ten to fifteen years have been some of the most influential of my life. I overcame depression, finished an associate’s degree, bachelor’s degree, and master’s degree. I began my career in agriculture, which propelled me into all sorts of things I never expected for my life. At some point, I put my head down and just went with it. While there were definitely moments of reflection and self-discovery, there was never any real pause. Which has been one of the biggest blessings in this time off.

But as you know, I believe contentment is what we should strive for to lead a healthy and fulfilling life. With the good, there is bad.

I am seemingly acutely aware that I am not just in a transitional phase, but on the brink of a pivotal shift in my life. I am coming to terms with certain realities that kept surfacing in which I have consistently tried to ignore and avoid. I have been clear with my expectations, and I have set boundaries. I have given others time to adjust. I feel that this time is giving my mind, body, and soul the rest it needs to muster up the strength and courage to make life-changing decisions. And it’s scary AF.

My homepage talks about belonging. Belonging is being true to ourselves, which is not something I think we ever truly achieve. Perhaps, that is the journey. As long as we continually grow, adapt, and open our minds and our hearts, we will constantly rediscover who we are with new information and new experiences. Being true to ourselves requires regular reflection, attention, and action.

A lot of the unhappiness I experienced over the last couple of years is because my head and my heart were not aligned. I let my head lead the way, and my heart reluctantly followed. As I move forward, I am really trying to move forward with my heart first. However, that direction comes with less. Less security. Less certainty. Less support. And maybe that is the test. The Lord will provide. Right?

Easier said than done though. All of it. Following your heart. Living authentically. Being true to yourself. Believing. Having faith. And maybe I’m just overthinking it all. But doesn’t thinking have to go into it to live intentionally, purposefully, and meaningfully? Maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

What I do know is that the decisions that will soon be before me have the potential to change the trajectory of my life, if I am brave enough to follow my heart. Part of me feels like I am putting an undue amount of pressure on myself. But at the same time, I can’t change what I feel or ignore it. And I feel that big things are on the horizon. I will just continue to pray that I know the “right” choices when they are presented.

So much of my identity was based around my career, and my cousin said something very wise about it. She said, “A job doesn’t make you who you are. It just gives you a place to shine.” So here’s 🥂 to learning to shine on my own.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

New Beginnings.

I quit my job on Friday. In a move that will seem abrupt to, well, basically everyone, it was a decision that was needed and a rather long time coming. I’m still a little in shock, so I’m turning to the place that always brings me comfort in processing my emotions.

As I anticipate what kind of remarks I will hear when people find out, I think it really comes down to one thing: I listened to what my mind, body, and soul were telling me and acted accordingly. Was it risky? Yeah. Am I scared? Yeah. Do I feel good about it? Eh. I’m not đź’Ż there yet. But I do know that my head and my heart were not aligned, and it wasn’t going to be a position I (or the company) could thrive in because of that.

Part of me is grieving the future I thought I had figured out. The other part of me feels exhilarated by the limitless possibilities before me.

When I think about the things that truly bring me joy and fulfillment, it wasn’t in the work I was doing. I know a lot of people are going to say, “Work is work.” Then you have others who say, “When you do what you love, you never work a day in your life.” Well, I don’t know who is right, but I’d like to believe the ladder is true.

That position is what I’ve been working toward. It was everything I thought I wanted. Over the last two years, I learned, I want more out of a job and more out of my life. In my gut, I know that I. can. have. it. all. I know it. And now I have more clarity on what I do and do not need to help me achieve everything I want. How cool is that?

A lot of people settle in their roles. They settle for the job, the money, the notoriety, or whatever it may be, and they either knowingly or unknowingly suffer because of it. For the better, I am too self-aware to know when something isn’t right. And with this decision, I proved to myself that I have the courage to make bold moves.

Back in December of 2021, two months after I started the new job, I wrote that I was content with my new role and that I no longer desired to be a writer. I lied. To you and to myself. Here I am, writing, a blog post I started less than 24 hours after I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. This is my happy place.

Leadership is somewhat counterintuitive. People think it is about serving others before serving oneself, but it is actually about knowing yourself and caring for yourself, first, in order to bring your best self to serve others. I had been neglecting myself, and it began to show in more ways than one.

I don’t know what my next move will be. It’s exciting, nerve-racking, a bit stressful, and a bit liberating. But I do believe that God has a plan. I believe that with risk comes reward. I believe that good things come when you follow your heart. And I believe that when things are right, they fall into place. So, while I can admit that I am having a hard time trusting the process, I do believe that this unexpected journey is taking me where I am supposed to go.

What brings me comfort in all of this is that I have been seeking a closer relationship with God. It’s ironic how He works, isn’t it?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Stay tuned…✨✨

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

All the Things I Have Done.

This morning, I sat in my office, sipped my coffee, and looked around, pondering the thoughts that have been in my head all week and which I wanted to dive into for this post. As I sat there, I thought less about the chaos that happened over the past week and became overwhelmingly grateful. 

There are little reminders of the life I built for myself all throughout the room. The books on the shelves remind me of all the knowledge I’ve accumulated. The photos of my dog remind me that my heart is still healing from the loss. The lanyards and name tags from conferences and expos remind me of meeting incredible people from around the U.S. who are passionate about produce. The jewelry box my cousin made reminds me of the times he used to babysit us. It holds the watch my grandma used to always wear, and it reminds me of her. 

I reflect quite a bit, but it’s usually on individual things, like the conversation I had with my uncle, the op-ed I wrote that was published in the paper, the interactions I had with a colleague, or the behaviors of a family member – all things I thought I would be writing about this morning.

But this room in my house tells a story about my life, and I never really took the time to consider the story as a whole. I mostly just reviewed certain chapters. As I had been reflecting on all the things I could have done, the artifacts in this room show me all the things I. have. done. 

The collection may be of things, but many are meaningful items that represent my uniqueness. From the spiritual (bible verse written on a 3×5 card) to the practical (bills that need to be paid), and from the playful (camera and GoPro) to even the little weird (javelina skull), each represents a different area of my life that brings me joy. (Yes, even the bills. They mean I am financially independent with the luxuries of a roof over my head, electricity, and internet.)

It’s so easy to get caught up in the trap of what we think our lives could have or should have been. It’s also easy to get caught up in the “I wish”-es. It’s hard not to compare or want otherwise for yourself, (past or future), based on the influence of others. 

But we were not meant to follow anyone’s path, except for the one God has planned for us. As I reflect on the journey that got me to this point, I can’t help but be reminded that He knows exactly what He is doing. I am where I am supposed to be, and all the things I have done make me who I am today. And the things that I have done are a great reminder that who I am today has limitless potential for tomorrow.

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Passion.

Merriam-Webster defines passion as an “intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.”  I don’t really like this definition.  I can have intense feelings of happiness or sadness or anger or any other emotion.  I feel like passion is more encompassing, but I’m not sure of what.  

You always hear motivational and inspirational speakers tell you to “Find your passion.”  Like, what does that even mean? đź¤·đźŹ»â€Ťâ™€ď¸Ź Why don’t they say “Find what you love?” or “Find what makes you happy?”  What is it about passion that sets it apart?

I’ve had a lot of jobs in a lot of different industries.  But it wasn’t until I started working in farming that I truly began to understand what “find your passion” meant. In the day-to-day, I truly enjoy helping produce a safe and healthy food supply for my family, my community, and beyond.  I can be out walking a field and feel pure happiness, if even just for a moment.  I can submit paperwork and feel pride.  I can learn from an irrigator and feel connection. I can teach leadership and feel helpful.

But there are some days…

There are some days when I personally feel attacked, my role feels attacked, or when I feel my company or industry is being attacked – you wanna talk about intense feelings? đź¤¬ The anger and frustration can shoot straight through to my core.  Claws come out, and I. am. ready to pull out all. the. guns.  I can go from an extreme of positive emotions to an extreme of negative emotions in a matter of seconds. But the good days by far outweigh the bad days. And even on the bad days, there are few things I’d rather do more.

That. is. passion.

Kevin Hall defines passion as “A willingness to suffer for what you love” – a definition I really like.

But I don’t think passion is something you find. I think passion is like love.  It. finds. you.  When the time is right.  Society puts so much pressure on us to have both within a timeframe it deems “normal.”  As a collective, who is society to set these standards when we consider how many people are in unhappy marriages and unhappy in their careers?  

A “calling” is accompanied by “conviction of divine influence.”

Conviction is referenced in the Merriam-Webster definitions of passion and calling. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Conviction and passion are rooted in belief. Belief is putting trust or confidence in someone or some thing. Put that belief in yourself and your God, and you will find your passion when your passion finds you. It’s ethos, pathos, and logos working together.

All those random jobs I had before farming gave me perspective. Ten years ago, I didn’t have the confidence or the backbone to do what I do today. There’s a reason I found my calling when I did. I don’t think this is my only calling either. I think this is where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. And as I feel myself undergoing transformational change, this phase of life is just a stretch of highway on the journey.

As we learn and we grow, we change. Ten years from now, I can be in a completely different place. We don’t know what life has in store for us. Perhaps we must go through the rough waters until we reach our passion, and at that point it becomes smooth sailing. ⛵️ But not without challenge – just challenge you’re better suited to navigate. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I dunno; I’m learning as I go too!

But what I do know, is that I think most people equate passion with happiness. If we find our passion, we become happier. But there is nothing about suffering that makes one happy. I think passion is a balance between positive and negative emotions; it is contentment.