by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Branding.

With the rise of social media, personal branding has become a thing. For awhile, I fell into this branding trap. In promoting agriculture, I became “Lacy Litten – Female Farmer.” It was a brand I was happy to have and promote. But I am not a brand, I am a human being who is constantly changing. Maintaining this Female Farmer brand started to become hard. The mold I created for myself began to crack.

But branding is really nothing new. During adolescence, I went through all the phases: country, surfer, punk – you name it. As I look back, I don’t see these phases as “trying them on for size.” I see them as reflections of emotional expression; a girl trying to find her place in the world, being influenced by movies, TV shows, books, friends, trends, environment, society, school, etc. These phases have given me a colorful life, full of perspective.

Branding is what we do; it is how we identify. Woman. Hunter. Homeowner. Mother. Gardener. Leader. Sister. These labels tell people who we are. It is often not intentionally done, but it becomes emphasized and embraced as we fully live these phases of life. As. We. Should.

A lot of life gets lived during each of these branded phases. They are only considered a phase, because a significant period of time can be reduced to a single identifier: college, marriage, career, childhood. None of these phases are defined solely by education, spouse, title, or age. We look at those words and know that knowledge, wisdom, and experience accumulated. Yet, we seem to judge people for making “dramatic” decisions, forgetting that those choices are a result of growth from those phases.

In August 2020, I wrote about undergoing a transformation. In October 2020, I started grad school, which I mastered July 2021. And in June 2021, I wrote about feeling on the precipice of change.

In August 2021, I accepted a new job, and all of the puzzle pieces are starting to come together. It’s been interesting to see and hear people’s reactions to the changes in my life. These changes are a result of years of growth. They are not rash decisions, but slow, meaningful, thoughtful, and instinctual moves forward.

When decisions, such as new careers, get made, there are pieces of us that we must leave behind. That’s the excitement of growth: out with the old and in with the new. Taking the wisdom, knowledge, and experiences gained, and applying them to new opportunities.

I don’t know what this next phase of life fully looks like or what brand will appear on the outside, but I am eager to find out.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Heart.

Have you ever really paid attention to where you feel emotions in your body?  It’s quite an interesting experiment that I recommend you try.  I did it for a week, and I learned that nearly every emotion I feel somewhere in the central portion of my body.

But it wasn’t all that surprising when I thought about it.  When my heart breaks, I feel it in my heart.  When I get nervous, I feel it in my stomach.  When I feel joy, I feel it in my heart.  When I feel excitement, I feel it in my stomach.  I don’t feel emotions in my head or my legs.  

As you learned, our gut is becoming known in the science community as our “second brain”, so it’s no wonder that we feel so many emotions in our stomach region (due to the enteric nervous system).  But today, I want to focus on the heart.

Have you ever really thought about the heart as a muscular organ?  I mean, it’s absolutely. F’ing. fascinating. 🤯  Our hearts are essential to our body’s health and function.  But unlike the other muscles in our body, hearts only get stronger when they break from our emotions.  We have no other way to “work out” that muscle than to feel heartache or heartbreak.  (And because I know someone is going to comment, yes, there are other ways we can build a strong heart through eating right, exercise, etc., but that’s not my point here. 🙄 )

Negative emotions are the muscle tears of our hearts that help it grow back stronger and more resilient. (Can someone quote me on that in the future?  ‘Cause damn.  That was good.)

Think about that for a minute though.  In several of my previous posts, I talk about how important it is to feel all of our emotions.  That we must feel the good and the bad.  And when we fully let ourselves feel the bad, the good is just that. much. sweeter. 

Just as walking around with sore muscles is uncomfortable, walking around with an aching or broken heart is uncomfortable too.  When we work other muscles, we give them time to rest and heal.  They get a day off.  Our heart works constantly, never pausing for rest.  Literally speaking, our heart never tires.  Emotionally speaking, our heart is overworked.  

Our heart is the. most. important. muscle in our body.  We don’t judge people for exercising other parts of their body; we praise them for giving it care. So, why do we dismiss giving our heart the emotional care it needs and judge people for when they do?

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Intuition.

Did you know that there is a lot of chatter in the medical community about our gut being our second brain? So when you “go with your gut” or have a “gut feeling”, there really is something to say for that. Scientists call this second brain our enteric nervous system (ENS), and it is made up of more than 100 million nerve cells 😳 that line our gastrointestinal tract from our esophagus to our rectum.

The ENS isn’t capable of thoughts as we know them coming from our brain, but it does communicate back and forth with our brain. Researchers and doctors thought that depression and anxiety contributed to the emotional shifts experienced by people who suffer from irritable bowel syndrome and functional bowel problems such as constipation and bloating. But now, they are finding evidence that the irritation in the gastrointestinal system may actually be sending signals to our central nervous system triggering mood changes. 🤯 Isn’t that interesting? Our gut may tell us when we have a digestive problem by shifting our mood.

A lot of times our intuition is reflected in a “gut feeing.” So, is intuition our brain telling our gut to react or our gut telling our brain to react?

Intuition is a form of knowledge that appears in consciousness without obvious deliberation. It is not magical but rather a faculty in which hunches are generated by the unconscious mind rapidly sifting through past experience and cumulative knowledge.

Psychology Today

We develop our intuition based on patterns. Logical knowledge certainly plays a part, but sometimes analyzing data and information doesn’t provide us with the answers we need, so we turn to our intuition for additional guidance.

I am highly sensitive to my surroundings and my emotions. When I experience something, I pick up on subtle details that others may not pay attention to, such as: the vibe in the room, smells, sounds, behaviors, and how these things make me feel. I use multiple senses to receive information, creating a strong experience that resonates personally. I then (consciously and subconsciously) deeply process this information storing it for a later date.

By having the additional information from multiple senses and deeply processing it, I’m better equipped to follow my intuition in a future similar experience. When like-situations arise, I don’t need to mull anything over. I’ve already done the analyzing. I can quickly make a decision and move on.

Since I perceive things stronger when I associate experiences with how they make me feel, my intuition arises more in something that I just know rather than in a gut feeling. My brain doesn’t need to send the signals to the nerve cells in my ENS prompting a feeling to arise. I’ve already felt all I need to feel to come to a decision.

Let me give you an example…

Dating. 🙄 When someone I know recommends I date someone, and I flat out say, “No, I’m not interested.” Follow-up remarks usually go something like this, “How do you know? You never gave him a chance. You never know until you try.” The thing is though, I do know.

Either from past interactions with the potential suitor or based on information provided to me about the potential suitor, I’ve already come to a conclusion about this guy. It’s nothing against him personally. It’s just that I pick up on all these subtle details in my interactions with people and invest a lot of time and emotion into processing those details.

When I learn about or interact with a potential suitor and I either consciously or subconsciously associate his traits to past experiences with himself or other people, I don’t need to “take a chance” on dating him. I’ve already invested energy on a like-person and determined they’re not worth my time (in a romantic capacity or otherwise), so why would this guy be? But again, it is nothing against him personally. For better or worse, this is just how my brain processes information.

Of course, our intuition isn’t full proof, and I can be wrong. But intuition is more reliable in some areas than others such as forming first impressions, detecting deception, and detecting sexual orientation – all things that are very relevant and important when pursing a romantic relationship.

People have accused me of being judgmental, having high standards, and being cold-hearted when I decline the opportunity to date someone who is likely a really great guy. But if we take being judgmental (which is based on logic and reason), having high standards, and being cold-hearted and apply these qualities in business, I would be praised for my confidence and acumen.

The ability to know myself so well that I can react intuitively on personal matters is seen negatively when my ability to react intuitively in business is seen positively. It’s a shame that this is how society has shaped our perspectives. It’s no wonder we have a hard time being true to ourselves. Emotional intelligence is so undervalued. 😒

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