by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Transformational Change.

Transformational change completely reshapes an organization. It can be strategic such as a change in leadership due to a merger or acquisition. It can be due to innovative technologies that drastically change processes, or it can be due to adding or eliminating a product or market. Although transformational change is generally positive, it can instill fear, doubt, and insecurity among employees. 

There are 4 stages of transformational change, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they are similar to the 5 stages of grief outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler.

ChangeGrief
DenialDenial
ResistanceAnger
ExplorationBargaining
CommitmentDepression
Acceptance

Back in 2020, I wrote that I was undergoing a transformation. Over the past few weeks, I have been emotional, feeling the same uneasiness, restlessness, hope, motivation, and inspiration that I felt then. Just a few months after I wrote that post, I started my master’s degree (which, I feel, has in large part led to my current feelings of transformational change). 

Emotions are stirring deep within my heart and soul. I am on a precipice. But with that anticipation and excitement, I have been grieving the professional future I had planned for myself. I am coming to terms with some things in my personal life that I have been resisting for years, and I am bargaining for some sort of stability and comfort with all of this change. At the same time, I am exploring changing my career and moving out of the area. All while trying not to get down on myself and remain positive about who I am, what I offer, and what I can do.

In short: I am feeling all. of. the. things.

When advancing your career, there are often parts of you that you have to leave behind in order to grow and move forward. Life is the same way. I will be leaving parts of me behind when I make my next move(s), and I feel like I am grieving those things now.

While some experts argue that anticipatory grief doesn’t do you any good, others believe that it does help with post-loss grief. Personally, I feel (or am choosing to believe) that my anticipatory grief is making room for the excitement that comes along with something new.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

New Beginnings.

I quit my job on Friday. In a move that will seem abrupt to, well, basically everyone, it was a decision that was needed and a rather long time coming. I’m still a little in shock, so I’m turning to the place that always brings me comfort in processing my emotions.

As I anticipate what kind of remarks I will hear when people find out, I think it really comes down to one thing: I listened to what my mind, body, and soul were telling me and acted accordingly. Was it risky? Yeah. Am I scared? Yeah. Do I feel good about it? Eh. I’m not 💯 there yet. But I do know that my head and my heart were not aligned, and it wasn’t going to be a position I (or the company) could thrive in because of that.

Part of me is grieving the future I thought I had figured out. The other part of me feels exhilarated by the limitless possibilities before me.

When I think about the things that truly bring me joy and fulfillment, it wasn’t in the work I was doing. I know a lot of people are going to say, “Work is work.” Then you have others who say, “When you do what you love, you never work a day in your life.” Well, I don’t know who is right, but I’d like to believe the ladder is true.

That position is what I’ve been working toward. It was everything I thought I wanted. Over the last two years, I learned, I want more out of a job and more out of my life. In my gut, I know that I. can. have. it. all. I know it. And now I have more clarity on what I do and do not need to help me achieve everything I want. How cool is that?

A lot of people settle in their roles. They settle for the job, the money, the notoriety, or whatever it may be, and they either knowingly or unknowingly suffer because of it. For the better, I am too self-aware to know when something isn’t right. And with this decision, I proved to myself that I have the courage to make bold moves.

Back in December of 2021, two months after I started the new job, I wrote that I was content with my new role and that I no longer desired to be a writer. I lied. To you and to myself. Here I am, writing, a blog post I started less than 24 hours after I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. This is my happy place.

Leadership is somewhat counterintuitive. People think it is about serving others before serving oneself, but it is actually about knowing yourself and caring for yourself, first, in order to bring your best self to serve others. I had been neglecting myself, and it began to show in more ways than one.

I don’t know what my next move will be. It’s exciting, nerve-racking, a bit stressful, and a bit liberating. But I do believe that God has a plan. I believe that with risk comes reward. I believe that good things come when you follow your heart. And I believe that when things are right, they fall into place. So, while I can admit that I am having a hard time trusting the process, I do believe that this unexpected journey is taking me where I am supposed to go.

What brings me comfort in all of this is that I have been seeking a closer relationship with God. It’s ironic how He works, isn’t it?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Stay tuned…✨✨

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Self and Tolerance.

The problem with becoming self-aware is that you begin to notice all the wrongs. What I mean is that your triggers seem to increase as you recognize how traits and behaviors of others impact you. Even more, you begin to realize that you have unknowingly accepted a level of treatment that you now know is unhealthy for you.

As a leader, we are sometimes required to tolerate things that we wouldn’t normally tolerate. Whether it be in your home life or your work life, there is undoubtedly someone that you accept poor treatment from because you have to. And I say “have to” because it may not be immediately feasible for you to leave the relationship (e.g., financial limitations of quitting a job or familial repercussions of defriending a sibling). When we feel this strain in a relationship, how do we know when we are stretching our leadership muscles versus sacrificing self?

Discomfort occurs either way.

Does it come down to severity of discomfort (e.g., some is stretching, a lot is sacrifice)? Or does sacrifice equate to snapping from stretching too much?

We can’t just up and leave a relationship every time it gets hard. Relationships take work, no matter the type. We have to be flexible with one another for the relationship to adapt to individual growth, and effort put forth should be balanced and symbiotic in order for the relationship to be sustainable.

So does sacrifice result from a one-sided or inequal commitment?

I don’t know that there is an easy answer or an answer at all. Maybe it all comes down to tolerability. What may be stretching in a relationship to one might be sacrificing to another. One person might put in a month’s worth of effort and call it good; others might put years into making the relationship work. It also comes down to importance of the relationship. If it is a spouse or loved one, then we will likely give it more time and effort than if it is a colleague or employee.

In any instance, tolerating unhealthy treatment is, well, unhealthy. That is why so many experts in leadership stress the importance of self-care. The better you care for yourself the more you can tolerate others!

Unfortunately, many of us do not give ourselves the care we truly need. And it’s hard to explain your needs to people who do not understand or empathize with the toll being a leader can have on oneself. Just as tolerance varies per person, so does quality and quantity of self-care. As we increasingly recognize the traits and behaviors of others and their impacts on us, we need to hone awareness of our own needs and care for ourselves as we care for others – if not more.

Leadership is a gift that often goes unrecognized and unappreciated. Don’t make it harder on yourself by ignoring your self.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Lull.

A lull is defined as a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity. I’m in a writing lull. Not because I don’t have anything to write about, but because I have so many thoughts going through my head that I can’t pin them down into a single flowable post. 

I have a personality that has been described as having “a rich inner life.” I think some people would say I’m someone who over analyzes everything … In my defense, I do most of it quietly without anyone knowing, so it’s not like I’m annoying people with my constant questioning of who, what, when, where, why, and how everything in life happens. Okay…maybe I do annoy some people with it. 😬

Between a new job, working with new people, gaining new knowledge, and new experiences, my brain has been working overtime. There is so. much. to learn. 🤯 

Overall, life is good. And busy.

But I miss being here. Writing allows me to process deep thoughts. It seems that I’ve been so busy with the new that I don’t have much energy for the deep. As much as I miss it, I think, it’s for the best. New and deep processing may make me feel overwhelmed, where for the time being, I just feel…whelmed.

This has always been a place where I vulnerably write about things I discover about myself, about people, about leadership, and about life. Not being here has almost made me feel like I’m not improving in any of these areas, because I haven’t needed to take the time to write and sort my thoughts. 

But that’s not true at all. 

I’m in a phase of applying knowledge I’ve gained over the past few years, seeing it being implemented, and watching it play out IRL. This is exactly what I’ve been working so hard for.

This career is one that I never imagined I would have. When you’re in high school, advisors make you feel like college right after high school is the only answer to becoming successful. I was not ready for that. I never envisioned my career, let alone landing in the C-suite. I just fell into a job that I became increasingly passionate about. It was fun, challenging, rewarding, and I wanted to devote so much time and energy to it.

I worked so hard to climb so high that I’m feeling restless while settling in to enjoy the view. But this is a transitional period. Adjusting to something new is always at least a little uncomfortable. They say that great things don’t happen within your comfort zone … It seems like I am in nearly a constant state of discomfort. Which means that great things lie ahead. And I have no doubt that they do. ☺️

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Sensitive.

Mornings are my favorite. But there is something about Sunday mornings in particular. I’m not sure if it’s restful peacefulness of a week coming to a close or the calm before an eventful week ahead. Either way, sitting with a warm cup of coffee ☕️ in front of my computer while the sun rises outside my office window – this is my happy place.

It’s a time of reflection and preparation. I type out the thoughts that have been weighing on my mind, more for my own processing than anything else. As with most mornings, it’s hard to narrow my thoughts into a flowable post. Topics that have been swirling in my brain lately evolve around transitions, change, expertise, love, past, connection, friendship, future, goals, and many other things. And I laugh a little, because this is so me. My mind working on a million things at once, trying to make sense of the world around me.

I’m one of those people who “read too much into things.” This was something that I used to be embarrassed and ashamed of. I can’t turn it off, and I can’t change it. I have always been told told “Don’t take it so personally. Get over it. You’re so sensitive. Grow thicker skin.” – and other similar phrases that told me I was weak and different.

It wasn’t until I started really diving into leadership that I realized my sensitivity was a strength and something to embrace. Finally, I didn’t feel so weird. Nuances I noticed that others did not gave me a competitive advantage.

Turns out, high sensitivity is an actual thing. Roughly 20% of the population are highly sensitive people. HSPs have stronger reactions to internal and external activity. Some studies have shown that HSPs have more active mental circuitry and neurochemicals in areas related to decision-making, action-planning, attention, and strong internal experiences, which means I can channel my “focus with precision, make thoughtful choices, and spark rich insights to bring great ideas to the table.” I am wired this way. It’s genetics. I really cannot change it.

I always say little things matter, and my comment is often dismissed by people who more than likely do not register on the HSP scale. But I’m more keen to subtleties than others. If someone shifts in their seat after a comment is made in a meeting, it could mean something. A certain tone or inflection when speaking could mean something. If my heart starts racing while walking by myself, it could mean something. Just because it could mean something, doesn’t mean it always does, but it is worth paying attention to the intuitive feelings and vibes people give.

I’m always trying to understand the why. It’s my own personal search to discover the unspoken language of the world. The more I learn about myself, the more I learn about others. The deeper I dive into emotion, neuroscience, and psychology, the better I understand why I am the way I am and why others are the way the are.

As time passes, the less I believe we should treat others the way we wish to be treated, and more so believe we should treat others the way they wish to be treated. Noticing nuances allows us to cater interactions to the individual, providing opportunity for vulnerability, empathy, and connection to occur.

People obviously recognized my sensitivity, but no one responded to it in a manner that was beneficial to me, and I spent much of my life thinking something was wrong with me. But I don’t blame anyone. A lot of this science didn’t exist when I was young, so we did the best we could. The thing is that when we approach people with an open mind and an open heart, we’re more likely to accept people as. they. are. Every person we encounter has something to teach us. We just have to be willing to learn. 💫

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Passion.

Merriam-Webster defines passion as an “intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.”  I don’t really like this definition.  I can have intense feelings of happiness or sadness or anger or any other emotion.  I feel like passion is more encompassing, but I’m not sure of what.  

You always hear motivational and inspirational speakers tell you to “Find your passion.”  Like, what does that even mean? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why don’t they say “Find what you love?” or “Find what makes you happy?”  What is it about passion that sets it apart?

I’ve had a lot of jobs in a lot of different industries.  But it wasn’t until I started working in farming that I truly began to understand what “find your passion” meant. In the day-to-day, I truly enjoy helping produce a safe and healthy food supply for my family, my community, and beyond.  I can be out walking a field and feel pure happiness, if even just for a moment.  I can submit paperwork and feel pride.  I can learn from an irrigator and feel connection. I can teach leadership and feel helpful.

But there are some days…

There are some days when I personally feel attacked, my role feels attacked, or when I feel my company or industry is being attacked – you wanna talk about intense feelings? 🤬 The anger and frustration can shoot straight through to my core.  Claws come out, and I. am. ready to pull out all. the. guns.  I can go from an extreme of positive emotions to an extreme of negative emotions in a matter of seconds. But the good days by far outweigh the bad days. And even on the bad days, there are few things I’d rather do more.

That. is. passion.

Kevin Hall defines passion as “A willingness to suffer for what you love” – a definition I really like.

But I don’t think passion is something you find. I think passion is like love.  It. finds. you.  When the time is right.  Society puts so much pressure on us to have both within a timeframe it deems “normal.”  As a collective, who is society to set these standards when we consider how many people are in unhappy marriages and unhappy in their careers?  

A “calling” is accompanied by “conviction of divine influence.”

Conviction is referenced in the Merriam-Webster definitions of passion and calling. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Conviction and passion are rooted in belief. Belief is putting trust or confidence in someone or some thing. Put that belief in yourself and your God, and you will find your passion when your passion finds you. It’s ethos, pathos, and logos working together.

All those random jobs I had before farming gave me perspective. Ten years ago, I didn’t have the confidence or the backbone to do what I do today. There’s a reason I found my calling when I did. I don’t think this is my only calling either. I think this is where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. And as I feel myself undergoing transformational change, this phase of life is just a stretch of highway on the journey.

As we learn and we grow, we change. Ten years from now, I can be in a completely different place. We don’t know what life has in store for us. Perhaps we must go through the rough waters until we reach our passion, and at that point it becomes smooth sailing. ⛵️ But not without challenge – just challenge you’re better suited to navigate. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I dunno; I’m learning as I go too!

But what I do know, is that I think most people equate passion with happiness. If we find our passion, we become happier. But there is nothing about suffering that makes one happy. I think passion is a balance between positive and negative emotions; it is contentment.