by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Passion.

Merriam-Webster defines passion as an “intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.”  I don’t really like this definition.  I can have intense feelings of happiness or sadness or anger or any other emotion.  I feel like passion is more encompassing, but I’m not sure of what.  

You always hear motivational and inspirational speakers tell you to “Find your passion.”  Like, what does that even mean? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why don’t they say “Find what you love?” or “Find what makes you happy?”  What is it about passion that sets it apart?

I’ve had a lot of jobs in a lot of different industries.  But it wasn’t until I started working in farming that I truly began to understand what “find your passion” meant. In the day-to-day, I truly enjoy helping produce a safe and healthy food supply for my family, my community, and beyond.  I can be out walking a field and feel pure happiness, if even just for a moment.  I can submit paperwork and feel pride.  I can learn from an irrigator and feel connection. I can teach leadership and feel helpful.

But there are some days…

There are some days when I personally feel attacked, my role feels attacked, or when I feel my company or industry is being attacked – you wanna talk about intense feelings? 🤬 The anger and frustration can shoot straight through to my core.  Claws come out, and I. am. ready to pull out all. the. guns.  I can go from an extreme of positive emotions to an extreme of negative emotions in a matter of seconds. But the good days by far outweigh the bad days. And even on the bad days, there are few things I’d rather do more.

That. is. passion.

Kevin Hall defines passion as “A willingness to suffer for what you love” – a definition I really like.

But I don’t think passion is something you find. I think passion is like love.  It. finds. you.  When the time is right.  Society puts so much pressure on us to have both within a timeframe it deems “normal.”  As a collective, who is society to set these standards when we consider how many people are in unhappy marriages and unhappy in their careers?  

A “calling” is accompanied by “conviction of divine influence.”

Conviction is referenced in the Merriam-Webster definitions of passion and calling. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Conviction and passion are rooted in belief. Belief is putting trust or confidence in someone or some thing. Put that belief in yourself and your God, and you will find your passion when your passion finds you. It’s ethos, pathos, and logos working together.

All those random jobs I had before farming gave me perspective. Ten years ago, I didn’t have the confidence or the backbone to do what I do today. There’s a reason I found my calling when I did. I don’t think this is my only calling either. I think this is where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. And as I feel myself undergoing transformational change, this phase of life is just a stretch of highway on the journey.

As we learn and we grow, we change. Ten years from now, I can be in a completely different place. We don’t know what life has in store for us. Perhaps we must go through the rough waters until we reach our passion, and at that point it becomes smooth sailing. ⛵️ But not without challenge – just challenge you’re better suited to navigate. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I dunno; I’m learning as I go too!

But what I do know, is that I think most people equate passion with happiness. If we find our passion, we become happier. But there is nothing about suffering that makes one happy. I think passion is a balance between positive and negative emotions; it is contentment.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Compassion.

Remember when I said 2020 would be epic?  I wasn’t really wrong, was I? 🤦🏻‍♀️ But this definitely wasn’t what I had in mind either.  It’s been such an interesting year so far, and we’re only half way through.

Whether I like it or not, I’m finally starting to settle into this “new normal”.  (A term I am also actually coming to hate.)  It’s been an adjustment, that is for. sure.  And really, I don’t have it nearly as bad as a lot of people.  But that’s not to discount the challenges I have faced during this transition; I’ve definitely been fighting some battles.  Still, I can’t help but feel a bit selfish for indulging in my own sorrows.  Brené Brown calls this “comparative suffering.”  

Comparative suffering is when you minimize someone else’s challenges in comparison to your own – or vice versa.  

I think it’s really important to remind ourselves that we are in. the. midst. of a global pandemic!  We all have a right to feel what we feel, as the experience and ripple effects have affected us all so differently.

Epic is defined as “extending beyond the usual or ordinary in size or scope.” I think this qualifies! 😂 There is so. much. happening beyond the usual and out of the ordinary, not just globally and collectively but individually and personally too.

I think the cure for comparative suffering is empathy and compassion.  We may not fully understand the struggles someone else is facing, but we can definitely tap into the struggles we are facing to relate.  And it’s not just about being compassionate with others, it’s also showing compassion to yourself.  

Brené Brown has a great little video on the difference between sympathy and empathy. But it also includes compassion, although it’s not specifically addressed. Here’s how I would describe the differences:

  • Sympathy – “I see you.”
  • Empathy – “I understand you.”
  • Compassion – “I will help you.”

The deer is demonstrating sympathy. The bear demonstrates empathy by looking into himself and reflecting on something that gives him the same feeling. Going into the hole, sitting with the fox, lending an ear, and giving a hug, that is compassion.

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by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Fuego.

You know those people who in very few words can ignite a spark 💥 within you?  I met with one of those people recently.  A woman that I highly respect and appreciate.  She tells it to me like it is, laid out as fact, but with a tone that is sincere and caring, not accusatory and demeaning.  The distinction in her delivery is important.  Great leaders cater the message for the recipient to feel in a positive way.

With all this COVID shit going on, I’ve been feeling a lot of different emotions.  I’ve been trying to be patient with these emotions, because I’m not sure if I’m feeling them just because COVID has disrupted my “normal” life or if they are indicators that it’s time for a change. 

I think it’s both.

If you remember from this post, there are underlying themes to our emotions.  The underlying theme for happiness is making reasonable progress toward the attainment of a goal.  In the Trust Factor, Zak talks about “challenge stress”.  The moderate stress of being challenged to reach an attainable goal releases neurochemicals, including oxytocin and adrenocorticotropin.

Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone” because it is released when socially bonding.  This is how trust is created in relationships, personally or professionally.  Adrenocorticotropin is produced in response to biological stress and intensifies your focus.

I live in a constant state of improvement.  I want to leave this world knowing that I lived my best life, and I make the conscience effort to better myself everyday in order to achieve this.  (Some days are better than others, let’s be real.)  In my posts about Insecurity and Emotion, I talk about celebrating small wins.  Not every day am I out slaying large goals, and I need the reminder that there are small successes.  Turns out, celebrating small wins can make all the difference in how you feel and perform.  It’s called the Progress Principle.

Of all the things that can boost inner work life, the most important is making progress in meaningful work.

Teresa Amabile and Steven J. Kramer

Personally, I thrive on being challenged.  I like work.  Bottom line.  If I’m not working hard toward something, I’m not as happy as when I am.  And currently, I’m not feeling challenged.  What I struggle with as an employee and as an entrepreneur:

  • As an employee, my challenges are typically set forth by someone else.  Although I somewhat operate in an “ask for forgiveness” fashion, there are still limitations and boundaries that have to be respected within the workplace.
  • As an entrepreneur, it feels like I’m wandering through the forest without a map or compass.  I take small strides forward because I don’t know how the hell to get where I want to go.

But each of these are challenges within their own right that must first be overcome.

What my mentor/friend said to light a spark beneath me was this:

Step up!  Your capability and awareness is greater than the environment that you’re in.

Sometimes, it takes someone else to point out what you’ve “known” all along.  Now, it’s time to reflect and come up with a strategic plan. What that may look like, I dunno yet. Maybe it’s an emotional renewal. Maybe it’s a side hustle breakthrough. Either way, it’s going to bring 🔥!