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Silver Linings in the Storm.
It’s been about 8 months since I’ve been here, writing from the heart. My break was not due to lack of content. While it is not unusual for me to be vulnerably honest in my struggles, I didn’t like the tone of what I was creating. I didn’t want it to sound as though I was crying out for help or attention. Because neither of those were the reality. The reality is something I had never experienced before. This past year has made me question a lot in my life. The people in it. My purpose. What is fulfilling. When I quit my job last year, I had a feeling…
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Expectations vs. Reality in Public Service and Leadership
“Never trust a politician.” This was something I remember hearing growing up from nearly every elder in my family. With that firm belief tucked inside my brain, I never thought I would engage in politics as an adult. For better or worse, here I am, engaging with politics. Essential Qualities of Effective Leaders Begrudgingly, I have to give credit to those who choose to serve in public office. Just being on the peripheral, I find it to be, more often than not, infuriating and draining. There are many qualities that someone in a position of leadership should possess. Most leadership experts consider self-awareness to be the most critical. Empathy, humility…
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Self and Tolerance.
The problem with becoming self-aware is that you begin to notice all the wrongs. What I mean is that your triggers seem to increase as you recognize how traits and behaviors of others impact you. Even more, you begin to realize that you have unknowingly accepted a level of treatment that you now know is unhealthy for you. As a leader, we are sometimes required to tolerate things that we wouldn’t normally tolerate. Whether it be in your home life or your work life, there is undoubtedly someone that you accept poor treatment from because you have to. And I say “have to” because it may not be immediately feasible…
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Politics.
Leadership is about rising above our lower self. Leaders set aside their own discomfort to make something more bearable for the other person. This creates the opposite of divide. It creates connection. And that’s been proven in psychology and neuroscience. I haven’t watched much of the political debates, because I don’t need to – nor do I want to. All the debates seem to be is a blame and shame game anyway. We don’t need more of that in our polarized society. We need leaders who say, “I’m sorry Mr. Presidential Nominee that you feel I haven’t done enough for the American people. But let me tell you how I plan to help them when I get elected into office.”…
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Rise Above.
Lately, I’ve been having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Having made sacrifices for people who don’t acknowledge or appreciate how I’m hurting myself for their benefit has been tolling. So badly, I want to just yell at them and say, “You did this! You didn’t do that! You are this way! It is your problem!” I’ve had to muster up a lot of strength to not blame and shame. In the age of social media, moving on from people who have hurt us can be difficult. With each post that pops up on our feed, it is a painful reminder of what could have, should have, was or isn’t. Being the stubborn person that I am,…
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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…