by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Mastered.

At this time last year, a masters degree was only vaguely on my radar. I started gathering information on degree programs just a few weeks before I became registered for my first class at Brandman University on October 24th. I was looking at several different schools, but time commitment and cost were holding me back. The MyPath program gave me exactly what I wanted: control, flexibility, and affordability.

I gave myself one year to complete 12 classes. I completed 7 days short of 9 months. 🤯

A masters degree is something I kind of always wanted, but never really thought I would get. Especially, since I didn’t finish my bachelors degree until I was 33.

It’s been almost 4 weeks since I’ve been done, and it hasn’t hit me yet. Life has been so busy. The weeks have flown by, and I wonder, “how did I do school on top of all this?” So much personal time was sacrificed. It was so much work. And there has been nothing to signify the accomplishment. It almost feels as though it never happened.

No, I don’t want a party. I am not seeking recognition or praises. But it is a big deal for it not to feel like a big deal.

Bettering my professional life has been my main focus for nearly 10 years. I’m ready to stop climbing and settle into my success. I’ve made a lot of personal sacrifices over that timeframe, and now I want a more complete quality of life.

Right now though, what I really want, is a vacation.

Fortunately, I have one scheduled in just a few short weeks. And I am beyond excited.

The funny thing about school was that all I did was read and write about things that interest me. This is why I was successful in completing so quickly. I love reading and writing! But I have really missed reading books of my choosing and writing here.

It’s been a heck of a year and a half.

Beyond school, I learned a lot about myself. In learning about myself, I learned a lot about others as well. With school off my plate, I will have more energy to deal with system dysfunction and more strength to withstand the external factors trying to take me down. And you know what? I feel ready for the fight. Bring. It. On. 💪🏼

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Gratitude.

Life has been really F’ing hard lately. It feels like I have been rolling with punch after punch, that I haven’t even had the opportunity to indulge in a little “woe is me.”

While I’ve been surface-level complaining, I haven’t been able to process deeply. I haven’t been alone or free long enough to really meditate in those negative emotions. Because. life. is. cray. I have so much on my plate. I heard that sometimes upon graduation, students think that they are going to go out and celebrate their independence, but they all end up getting sick instead. Their bodies go into survival mode to get them through, and once it is over, the body is like “No, chick. Our celebration is lying in bed all day, not drinking mimosas by the pool.” I anticipate this happening to me. 😂😬

I am fully in survival mode. And there is something strange about realizing it.

While I was technically on vacation for two weeks, the time that I wasn’t in BFE was spent doing homework. And I was still checking emails every time I strolled into service, because I really don’t have qualified back up at work. (Food safety is seriously specialized.🙄) Returning to work was like I never left.

After two break downs in three days, I reached out to some friends. While we caught up visiting, I was also able to divulge some of my struggles. This got me thinking about my post on support, because they lifted me up. I felt supported. But I was also like, but, they didn’t do anything. They were just there for me and listened. And I realized, that. is. the. action. Their words of encouragement were just icing on the supportive cake.

It’s funny too, because that same day I was talking to someone else about a gratitude journal. I told him that I had started one a long time ago when I was going through a hard time. But I stopped, because the things that I was thankful for became, “I woke up. I didn’t get in a car accident. I have my health.” And while, yes, these are things to be grateful for, I was missing the point. It was generic gratitude, not purposeful gratitude. I wasn’t actually feeling grateful for those things. I was going through the motions.

So I stopped the gratitude journal. I realized that some days good things, (beyond the normal good things), just don’t happen. Of course, I am grateful for my existence, my health, my safety, and that of my family and friends. That goes without question.

Yesterday, I finally got a pre-harvest assessment I had been requesting from a harvest supervisor. And it was wrong.😖 I was like, okay, but, at least I got the pre-harvest assessment. That should be something to be grateful for. These are the things I would write in the gratitude journal. But these are silver linings. It’s optimism, not gratitude. It’s not the same.

When I got home and had time to reflect on my day, my friendships, and my network, I truly felt grateful. I am surrounded by good people who believe in me. That is awesome. I am so. damn. lucky.

But let’s be real, it didn’t make me feel any better about my situation, my circumstances, or my problems. Those didn’t magically disappear. I’m in the midst of some life changes. There is still turbulence. This is still survival mode. But their support and encouragement just doused the fire to keep me moving forward.

Truly, it is amazing how small gestures of kindness can impact people’s lives. I’m sure my friends had no idea how an hour of their time made me feel so. much. better. about myself and my ability to continue persevering. They say that it is calm in the eye of the storm. 🌪 When you are surrounded by chaos, reach out to those who keep you grounded.