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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
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Closure.
Making sense of something we have lost is the acceptance stage of grief. Seeking closure can stem from any form of loss, not just the loss of a relationship. An explanation or answer as to why we lost something can provide us with the opportunity to learn something about ourselves or the other person or situation (whatever it may be). Closure exists on a scale; different personalities may be more prone to seek closure than others. Not receiving closure for people who need it can lead to psychological distress. One study found that people who prefer order and predictability – having a more rigid way of thinking and a low tolerance for ambiguity…
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Grief.
Suffering is part of human existence. This is fact. Every person in the world has lost something of significance and gone into a process of grieving. Grief takes on different forms for different people. Some numb pain; some deny through avoidance, and some lean into the pain. Loss is unavoidable. Grief comes after loss, and psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross believed that there are 5 stages of grief. They are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance There has been criticisms of this grief theory among social scientists. I don’t love it or hate it. I do think grief is a process, but I don’t necessarily think there is a structure (that we grieve in this consecutive order). Grief affects…
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Loneliness – Part 2
It’s been 4 months since I wrote this post on loneliness, and 6 months since this pandemic dramatically altered our lives. I think most of us would agree, we did not expect it to be so impactful and last. this. long. If you’ve been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that I love learning about how our emotions develop through chemical reactions in our brains. Here are a few things I’ve learned in my reading of Together by Dr. Vivek Murthy: Our brain has two networks: one for social processing and one for non-social processing. When we are done performing a task (non-social processing), our brain immediately switches back to social thinking. So even when we’re…
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Selfless Leadership.
Leadership is hard, you guys. 😔 I can’t attribute all of my life changes to leadership specifically, but it has played a very large role in shaping my perspective and how I interact/think of others. Not only have I become a more assertive communicator, but I have heightened self-awareness, higher emotional intelligence, and a much bigger “big picture” approach when analyzing most situations. It feels like I am constantly making (big and small) sacrifices for the benefit of others, often with little to no reward. But then, I got to thinking about Jesus. And living impeccably. My assumption was that living impeccably makes life easier; that there would be more happiness. But that’s not really the case. Life has definitely…
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Self-Betrayal.
I think most of us would agree that we are not in the practice of self-betrayal. We don’t intentionally do things or make decisions that would purposefully bring us harm. Except we do make decisions that unintentionally do bring us harm. When we are presented with a choice, we have the option of honoring our morals, values, beliefs, desires, etc. or betraying them. When you make the “right” decision, there are usually positive side effects. When you make the “wrong” decision, it can lead to all sorts of negative effects. I was recently presented with a choice. A very big decision had to be made and there were a lot of moving parts. I chose to move forward, because I didn’t want to be…