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Precipice.
Awhile back, I was talking to a friend about some things I’m going through. As I’m telling her all of these things, I’m asking, “Why is this my fault? Why do I have to do this? Why is this my problem? Why do I have to be the bigger person?” She flat-out, simply, and calmly replied, “Because you are the problem.” ✋🏼 Wait …….. what? So many things ran through my brain as I processed, “You are the problem.” In the span of roughly 30 seconds, I felt shock, then anger and defensiveness, followed by a gradual shift to understanding, before accepting and actually feeling calm with this fact resonating.…
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Growth.
I am all for holding people accountable, and I am skeptical of people who change their minds. But we don’t know what we don’t know, until we know. Quite frankly, I live in fear over the things I post online. When and how will it come back to haunt me? Nothing is safe anymore. It seems that people neglect context. They jump to conclusions. They make immediate judgments and assumptions. And that’s fine, it is natural human behavior. It takes practice to be aware of when we are making judgments and assumptions, then overcome our initial reactive feelings. But it is the second step that is critical in how we…
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Self-Betrayal.
I think most of us would agree that we are not in the practice of self-betrayal. We don’t intentionally do things or make decisions that would purposefully bring us harm. Except we do make decisions that unintentionally do bring us harm. When we are presented with a choice, we have the option of honoring our morals, values, beliefs, desires, etc. or betraying them. When you make the “right” decision, there are usually positive side effects. When you make the “wrong” decision, it can lead to all sorts of negative effects. I was recently presented with a choice. A very big decision had to be made and there were a lot of moving parts. I chose to move forward, because I didn’t want to be…
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Strength.
I was recently asked, “What makes you feel strong?” The question caught me off-guard, and I did a quick analysis of my life. I thought about my job, being a volunteer, public speaking, relationships, travel, the programs I’ve been part of, the opportunities I’ve had, and being a leader. Without much conscious thought, I replied, “I feel strongest in my weakest moments.” Then I got caught off-guard by my own response, and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m realizing how true the statement is. There have been times where I am curled up in a ball, crying, feeling every piece of my heart break 💔, experiencing extremely deep hurts that translate into actual…
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Transformation.
Do you ever go through periods of life where you feel God working within you? What this looks like may be different for each of us, but for me, I feel uneasy, restless, and emotional, yet hopeful, motivated, and inspired. I recognize these feelings when they appear and know that I am going through a transformational change. In most change models, we create a picture of what we think the solution should be, then work hard to make reality fit that picture. We try to dominate the situation. I have a friend who is super Type A, logical, and analytical. This would be his approach to change. You create a…
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Happiness.
Philosophers caution against focusing on happiness as the ultimate good in life, and I tend to agree. Happiness is subjective; it’s not a constant. I think we’ve put happiness on this unobtainable pedestal. It’s something that we haven’t actually defined for ourselves as individuals, and we strive for an unrealistic, curated ideal (however it is we perceive that ideal). Basically, we really don’t even know what we are searching for. What we talk about in our culture as happiness is really kind of a revved-up version of happiness. It’s a high-energy [state] — scientists call it a high-arousal positive affect. It’s a feeling, it’s transient, it’s not quality of life, it’s not so…