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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
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Self-Betrayal.
I think most of us would agree that we are not in the practice of self-betrayal. We don’t intentionally do things or make decisions that would purposefully bring us harm. Except we do make decisions that unintentionally do bring us harm. When we are presented with a choice, we have the option of honoring our morals, values, beliefs, desires, etc. or betraying them. When you make the “right” decision, there are usually positive side effects. When you make the “wrong” decision, it can lead to all sorts of negative effects. I was recently presented with a choice. A very big decision had to be made and there were a lot of moving parts. I chose to move forward, because I didn’t want to be…
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Fine Lines.
I find it ironic that it’s sometimes the people who are against talking about feelings or self-reflecting that are the most emotional. In business, it can be challenging for subordinates or colleagues to approach these people with constructive feedback. It’s waiting until that person is in the right mood, reading the situation, treading lightly, and being deliberate with the words you say. While this typically applies in any situation, some (people and situations) are more sensitive than others. When developing new relationships, personally or professionally, the same approach applies. We walk fine lines. It’s not until a level of trust builds that we can be more direct. We often don’t…
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Happiness.
Philosophers caution against focusing on happiness as the ultimate good in life, and I tend to agree. Happiness is subjective; it’s not a constant. I think we’ve put happiness on this unobtainable pedestal. It’s something that we haven’t actually defined for ourselves as individuals, and we strive for an unrealistic, curated ideal (however it is we perceive that ideal). Basically, we really don’t even know what we are searching for. What we talk about in our culture as happiness is really kind of a revved-up version of happiness. It’s a high-energy [state] — scientists call it a high-arousal positive affect. It’s a feeling, it’s transient, it’s not quality of life, it’s not so…
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Trust.
I once saw a meme that said, “Dating is getting to know someone until you realize you don’t like that person anymore.” I mean, how true is that statement though? 😬 It’s kind of sad when you really think about it. You invest time, energy, and emotion in someone until you ultimately discover that person is not worth your time, energy, and emotion. There are a lot of great things about being single, don’t get me wrong. The freedom is undeniably one of the best aspects of it. But the dating part is hard. First, choosing the person you want to date. Not just anyone will set off the “cascade of hormones and…
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Appreciation.
Life has been an uphill climb lately. And yeah, I’ve been complaining. It’s natural, right? 😬 But I also recognize that you don’t reach a peak of the mountain without first walking through the valley. For the past 4 months, it has literally been one thing after another, and it’s taken me on an emotional roller coaster. There have been essentially 7 significant events that have each taken me down a notch (or several). While I’ve been able to lean on people who care about me for support, there is still something missing that’s left me feeling unfulfilled. So, I’ve been doing what I do: completely analyzing these situations to find the root of what has…