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Any Good.
Circumstances have arisen over the past several months that have caused me to re-evaluate certain relationships. As a result, I’ve created new boundaries with people who I didn’t feel recognized my full worth. These decisions did not come lightly, and I’m still having a hard time coping with the changes. In only one of these circumstances was there a pretty clear cut of ties. The others have been pretty much just my decision with no discussion about the state of the relationship. In talking these changes out with a friend, she asked, “Why don’t you talk to them about it?” And I responded, “It won’t do me any good.” Then she asked, “Why do you think it won’t…
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Closure.
Making sense of something we have lost is the acceptance stage of grief. Seeking closure can stem from any form of loss, not just the loss of a relationship. An explanation or answer as to why we lost something can provide us with the opportunity to learn something about ourselves or the other person or situation (whatever it may be). Closure exists on a scale; different personalities may be more prone to seek closure than others. Not receiving closure for people who need it can lead to psychological distress. One study found that people who prefer order and predictability – having a more rigid way of thinking and a low tolerance for ambiguity…
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Truth.
The truth can hurt. That is fact. But wouldn’t you rather know the truth than believe a lie or lie by omission? I would. Not knowing and feelings of uncertainty can linger for as long as something is being avoided. I don’t want to live in discomfort indefinitely. I would rather quick pain of the truth, so I can feel it, and move on from it. Rip the Band-Aid off. 🩹 Quick and painful is better than slow and painful. Yeah? I do believe “the truth will set you free,” but I also believe some people “can’t handle the truth.” This is true of myself too. We cannot control our emotional reaction, but we can manage that emotion. And some of us manage our emotions better than…
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Disappointment.
The underlying theme for disappointment is unmet expectations. How true is that when you really think about it? When I’m disappointed in myself, I am usually left questioning, “What did I do wrong? How could I have done better?” When I’m disappointed in someone else, I’m usually left wondering, “If he would only…” 🙄 It’s harder for me to be disappointed in other people than it is to be disappointed in myself. At least when I haven’t met my own expectations, I can reflect to see if I laid my head and my heart on the line (logic and emotion). If I didn’t, I know to do better and can take steps toward improvement. Other people, well…it seems a lot of other people…
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Worth.
Normally, when I want something, I go after it to make it happen. The problem is that sometimes you can only go so far until other people play a part in whether or not you can achieve your desired outcome. I can work my ass off to get into a program, but I cannot force the board to choose me. I can put forth the effort in a relationship, but I cannot force the other person to reciprocate. At some point, you have to analyze whether or not the things you want are actually worthy of your desire. Sometimes this means walking away from something that you really want. I recently made the decision…
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Loneliness.
Why is it that loneliness seems to be an unacceptable sentiment in our society? Is it because we are social animals, and so long as we are around people we shouldn’t be lonely? What I think is ironic about this is that I’m willing to bet WAY more people feel lonely than are willing to admit. (And I’m not a gambler, I am that confident with my odds here.) People tend to generalize emotions. I am victim of this too. I recently talked to a mentor/friend, and she said to me, “Lacy, you keep coming back to the injustices.” Internally, I was like, “Cool”, 😒 (in one ear and out…