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Avoidance.
We all value the importance of communication, but so many people avoid conversations that make them feel uncomfortable – which doesn’t solve anything. It actually makes everything worse. I’m not going to go into examples here. We all know how it feels when we don’t feel as though we’re being listened to. I tried to have one of these uncomfortable conversations with someone. I told him what I wanted to talk about, and we agreed to have the conversation at a later time when we would both be prepared to do so. But that later discussion never happened. This person invited me to have a seat at the table, then never let me pull up…
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Independent.
I was talking to a friend who asked, “Why would people think that I wouldn’t settle down?” 😬 That, is a loaded question, my friend. While marriage and a family are important to him, he’s been self-reliant and independent for a very long time. He thinks he’s open with information, but he’s actually quite reserved. He tells you what you need to know (logically) and not much more (emotionally). He’s had relationships, but not real meaningful ones. And they’re not meaningful, because he defaults to independent and self-reliant behavior with no emotional vulnerability to build connection. He thinks no one is going to do something as good as he’s going…
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The Bar.
Everyone has an opinion on my love life. And as much as I hate it, I also appreciate that so many people care about me and my happiness. But I get a lot of commentary that needs to be drowned out, mostly, because very few people actually know me truly well enough to have a valid opinion. Many of these comments have to do with my expectations, and that I’ve set the bar too high. Every time I hear one of these comments, it really bothers me. Even when said in a joking manner, it bums me out. 😔 I am so fortunate to have incredible men in my life. From…
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Intuition.
Did you know that there is a lot of chatter in the medical community about our gut being our second brain? So when you “go with your gut” or have a “gut feeling”, there really is something to say for that. Scientists call this second brain our enteric nervous system (ENS), and it is made up of more than 100 million nerve cells 😳 that line our gastrointestinal tract from our esophagus to our rectum. The ENS isn’t capable of thoughts as we know them coming from our brain, but it does communicate back and forth with our brain. Researchers and doctors thought that depression and anxiety contributed to the…
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Worth.
Normally, when I want something, I go after it to make it happen. The problem is that sometimes you can only go so far until other people play a part in whether or not you can achieve your desired outcome. I can work my ass off to get into a program, but I cannot force the board to choose me. I can put forth the effort in a relationship, but I cannot force the other person to reciprocate. At some point, you have to analyze whether or not the things you want are actually worthy of your desire. Sometimes this means walking away from something that you really want. I recently made the decision…
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Impeccable.
In the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz defines impeccable as “without sin”. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself. Don Miguel Ruiz Who we are has been shaped by the morals, values, opinions, judgments, and fears of those around us. Most notably, our parents who have influenced our entire belief system since birth. How do we know who we really are when so much of who we are has been influenced by others? Their thoughts have become engrained in our minds as if they are our own. Personally, I think this is why emotional intelligence and self-awareness is critical to our function. Our bodies react to our emotions. When we pay…