In everything I read and learn or have experienced, we connect with people when we are vulnerable. When we share something personal with someone else, all of a sudden, our differences disappear; our arguments dissolve. We no longer see that person as an enemy, but as someone who has struggles, fears, and feelings. That person becomes relatable.
As I enter different phases of my leadership journey, there’s different areas of my life that I’ve been sharing – some more difficult than others. While I’m not necessarily embarrassed by these experiences, some I would just prefer not to vocalize, often times in a room full of people I don’t know very well. It takes courage, and courage is vulnerability.
I once heard that we need to find comfort in the uncomfortable. I was like, yeah, okay. I mean, the concept isn’t a hard one to understand. Jack Canfield explains it well:
If we’re not a little bit uncomfortable every day, we are not growing. All the good stuff is outside our comfort zone.
But I’ve got to be honest, I did not feel that statement until recently.
As I travel down this road, the more I find myself in uncomfortable situations, whether that be public speaking, sharing a personal story, showing up to an event where I don’t know anyone – or whatever it may be. There is consistently new experiences. Which is awesome (and terrifying at the same time), because that means I’m moving forward and growing.
And you know what? It’s actually gotten easier.
I would consider myself a very introverted person. I like my alone time. I like to really think things over. And it takes a lot of energy to go out and network. But after going to an event or a speaking engagement or whatever it may be, I don’t go back to my car and praise Jesus that it’s over (anymore – for the most part). And that my friends, is progress.
But as someone who likes data, I can’t help but wonder if it’s only my perception that makes it seem easier or am I actually becoming more of an extrovert? At work, we talk a lot about SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relatable, and Timely). Not that this was specifically one of my goals, but show me some results that measure improvement. Does this data even exist and how would I find it?
Turns out, I have some data.
I recently took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Assessment. If the Extrovert/Introvert scale ran from left (E) to right (I), I would have expected to be on the far right. But I actually fell closer to the middle. Nearly two years ago (October 2017), I took the DiSC Assessment and scored very, very low in Social Influence.
While these are two different types of personality tests that scientifically wouldn’t hold as legit measurable proof, they’re good enough for me! I don’t necessarily think I’ve become more of an extrovert, I think I’ve just better adapted to “turning it on”.
And I think this is exactly what finding comfort in the uncomfortable means. It’s when the hard things become easier. When you focus more on the benefits than the fear, it makes the uncomfortable a little more bearable.
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