by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

2020.

I always look forward to a new year. The down time of the holidays give us time to reflect and be thankful. As Christmas passes, it leaves me feeling hopeful and excited about what’s about to come. And this year will be 2020. Doesn’t that just sound epic?

I can’t believe how much life has changed for me since 2010. I started working in agriculture and made significant strides in my career. I finished my Associates and Bachelor’s degrees. I got Rae and said goodbye to her as well. 💔 I took up archery and hunting and traveled to places I never thought I’d go. I also started volunteering and making a difference in my community.

Life was always kind of hard for me. I never knew what I wanted, how I fit in, or who I really was. It was confusing and trying. Now, it feels like I have the answers to all of those things.

What I like about reflecting on the past is recognizing how the puzzle pieces fit together. Everything I’ve done seems to perfectly add up to have gotten me where I am today.

And that makes me so happy. It gives me faith that the future will work out the way that it’s supposed to. 🙏🏼 It makes me less fearful of the unknown. And it makes me so excited to see what the future holds.

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by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Friends & Family.

People never cease to amaze me – and today, I mean that in a good way! Over the past several years, I’ve grown a part from many friends and have gained many others. It doesn’t mean that I think less of those friends I don’t see or speak to often, it means that our lives have taken different directions.

As 2019 comes to a close, I think of all of that’s changed. They say that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. As I reflect on my friendships, old and new, I understand why these people have come and gone (or stayed) in my life. Some I expect to reconnect with once our lives re-align. Others, I recognize our time together has passed.

The thing about family though is that even when you grow a part, you are still tied together. While my professional life has taken turns that I never expected, my personal life has stayed pretty constant. Over the past several years, I’ve seen cousins marry and have children, grow in their careers and quit unhappy jobs. We’ve had health scares and hospital visits. We’ve celebrated life and mourned it as well.

I was talking to my brother-in-law a couple of weeks ago, and he said, “People don’t get our family.” I laughed. The Litten Compound is full of adventure. Between the nighttime flashlight and .22 meet-ups, the trophy photos of gophers and moles and skunks and possums and raccoons, to the rain gauge water thefts and falling trees, there is rarely a dull moment.

That adventure follows us Litten’s wherever we go. We have an amazing support system of loving and caring friends and family that thankfully find our lifestyle entertaining and choose to be part of it. But if I’m being honest, it’s taken me time to appreciate the quirks, and the changes.

I’m learning to embrace the changes and the uniqueness of our dynamic group, and it has me feeling incredibly proud of the adults my cousins have grown into, grateful that we can still depend on one another, and thankful that we’ve been raised the way we were. Looking around my social circle, I’m in disbelief that these intelligent, outgoing, motivated, and good-humored people include me in their ranks.

You are who you surround yourself with, so look around. There is so much to be thankful this holiday season.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Let Me Be.

I’ve had a rough week. And when I say week, I mean 3 months.

As I mentioned, there’s been a lot of little bad things that have piled up and a few big bad things. Don’t freak out, these things aren’t life or death bad things. But in my little world, they are a big deal. And here’s what I’m tired of people telling me:

  • “It’s not a big deal.”
  • “Don’t let it get to you.”
  • “Just let it go.”
  • “Tomorrow is another day.”
  • “Everything will be fine.”

You get the picture. Then today, I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a caption: “Happiness is a choice.”

Okay. 😒 I’ve had about enough.

Sometimes, I just need to be pissed off. Sometimes, I just need to be sad. Sometimes, I just need to hurt. The best way for me to get through my emotions is to fully feel them, own them, and work through them. Only then will I truly get over them.

I know tomorrow is another day. I know I need to let it go. I know everything will be fine. …. eventually. But sometimes, the feelings are too deep to let go so easily.

I listened to “mood booster” music every single day this week, and I still came home in tears the past two days. A person can only carry so much weight before they begin to crumble. That is life. It happens to all of us.

I was talking to a friend today, and I said, “You know what the worst part of all of this is? And I say worst part, because it’s actually the best part, and I hate that I even recognize it as the best part. It’s a learning experience. I fully recognize that through all this bad, there is good. And it frustrates me even more that I’m not blissfully unaware. That I’m actually thankful to have come out of all of this better.”

And you know what? After I said it, I actually felt better. I literally felt the past 3 months worth of crap start to slip away. And tomorrow? I’m going off-grid. I’m going to my happy place to give my heart and soul time to heal.

Everyone fights their own battles. What may be mountains to one may be mole hills to another. But mole hills can also make a foundation weak. Not all things are as they seem, and not all timelines are the same.

All of the comments from the beginning of this post are essentially polite ways of telling me to “get over it.” Some things you get over, other things you get through. The key is knowing which and reacting accordingly.

by : lacylit10 Leadership, Life Lessons

Expectations.

I had several conversations this week that essentially revolved around expectations.  Each conversation was unique with different circumstances, different personalities, different goals, and different intentions.  So when I said intentions don’t matter, I was kind of lying.  But really, it all depends.

  • In one conversation, we were talking about how a specific person has a reputation of over-promising and under-delivering.  The consistent under-delivery has now become my expectation.  Whether he cannot produce due to intentional or accidental circumstances, it doesn’t matter.  The habit formed has shaped my opinion of him, and I now find him unreliable and untrustworthy.  This will ultimately lead to a dissolution of the relationship, unless he can rebuild his credibility.
  • Another conversation had to do with taking on more responsibility.  I flat out asked, “What is your expectation?”  I want to clearly understand what is expected of me in order to perform to the best of my ability.  I don’t want to become that person who over-promises and under-delivers, because I didn’t understand what the expectation was in the first place. Ultimately, yes, miscommunication and misunderstandings happen.  By trying to sort out those details up front, we can hopefully move forward efficiently and productively.
  • The last conversation had to do with someone who led me to believe something that was not actually fact.  I have a feeling that he did not intentionally lead me to believe false information, but that there was a misunderstanding that never got corrected.  It has since spiraled into something much larger than anticipated, where it’s almost too late to turn back.  But at this point, I’m losing trust in him.  He’s essentially perpetuating the lie by not coming forward with the truth.

I try to be very clear with my expectations. There is an expectation to everything that we do. I like it all laid out up front. I want to know the end goal, and the parameters I have to work within. The more I grow in life and leadership, the more important these expectations have become to me.

Every once in awhile, my dad will ask me to help him with something. He’ll ask me to hold this, then tighten this, then move this, whatever. Then he’ll get frustrated with me, because I’ll inevitably not perform to his expectation. Likely, because with every task I complete, I think I am done helping because that’s all that he asked me to do. But if he had said, “Lacy, can you hold this, while I tighten this, because I want to move this to there…” Clear direction. 🙌 I know exactly what I am in for and what I will be committed to help do. Then we’ll be moving forward with the same expectation, the same goal, ultimately, avoiding an argument.

Sound relatable?

I read a lot of books about management, leadership, and self-development. They essentially all say the same thing: You have to know what you are working toward, individually and collectively, personally and professionally. But it’s also about communication. And that’s a whole different topic, for whole different post, on an entirely different day.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

The Little Things.

I am not one of those people who easily overlooks the little things. Little things matter.

I know someone who constantly forgets to tell me minor things or he will play them down.

The key here is that I said “constantly.” All of these little things add up to create big things: resentment, frustration, anger, stress. Examples:

  1. Last minute changes:
    • Forgetting to keep me in the loop inconveniences me to drop what I’m doing and rush something through. The saying “Lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine” doesn’t always hold true, especially in business.
  2. When he forgets something, and I have to remind him:
    • I am not his mother nor am I his wife. I do not enjoy nagging someone to get me required information in order to perform a specific task. And I don’t mean to perform a task well, I mean to perform the task at all.

We all have those people in our lives that consistently repeat disrespectful habits. They type and scroll on their phone while we’re talking to them. They show up late everywhere they go. Whatever it is; I’m guilty of these bad habits too. But we’re more likely to be accommodating when the habits aren’t actually habits at all, but something that just happens occasionally.

A colleague and I frequently talk about intent vs. impact. We may not intend to do something, but the intent really doesn’t matter. The impact the action has is what matters. (And obviously I’m not speaking on this from a criminal offense perspective.)

How we perceive something (the impact) is our reality.

While we may not intend to offend someone with our actions, whether that is being forgetful, distracted, or whatever it may be, be mindful of the impact these actions have on others. It’s as simple as treating others as you would like to be treated.

by : lacylit10 Life Lessons

Work-Life Balance.

Rachel Hollis says the work-life balance is total crap. She says that the media caught on to the phrase and overused it to the point that we believe it’s an achievable goal – when it’s not. I don’t think she’s entirely wrong.

I have a friend. I love him. He’s great. But every once in awhile he says something that makes me want to straight up punch him in the face. We’ll be talking about something, and he’ll say, “Well, you’re not married, and you don’t have kids.” While I try to casually let it go, my internal response is more a series of: 🤯😡😤🤬.

You guys – that is a low blow.

First of all, it’s not like I don’t want those things, so thanks for pointing out that I don’t have them (asshole 🙄). Also, it’s not like I don’t have family or friends or obligations or meetings or appointments. It’s not like I don’t have financial ties or budgets to follow. It’s not like I don’t have no persons (or pets) to consider in the decisions I make. It’s not like I have nothing of importance in my life.

But just because I’m not married and don’t have kids does not mean that I don’t struggle with the juggle. (That sounds entirely inappopriate, so I kept it.) It also does not mean that your priorities hold more value than mine; our priorities are just different.

Don’t misconstrue that statement either. Yes, I recognize that a child holds more value than a meeting – or whatever. What I’m trying emphasize is that it’s your child and my meeting. Our choices have led us down different paths – neither is better or worse than the other based on our individual needs and destined directions. Don’t overthink it – K?

A co-worker and I frequently talk about competing priorities. For example: the romaine harvest foreman’s tractor broke down, and his crew is not making their normal piece rate. Meanwhile, the automatic Brussels sprouts harvesting machine went down, and the crew has to hand-harvest the field. Each foreman thinks that repairs on their equipment should be completed first = competing priorities.

I struggled with juggling hunting season with day-job demands and side-hustle goals. Hunting was sacrificed, because too many other things that hold greater future value presented themselves. Work held more weight than personal life, and that’s okay. When I took back-to-back hunting trips to New Zealand then Texas, life held more weight.

I think we look at this work-life balance in a perspective that is too small. We are looking at it daily, weekly, or monthly, when we should be looking at it yearly, or biennially or whatever – just some greater timeline.

Life can change in a day or a minute, even. But life happens over time.

We shouldn’t put so much pressure on ourselves to live for the moment or plan our life out, because let’s be real: life is competing priorities. I think it’s more important to recognize when one side is getting heavier than the other and adjust accordingly.

And it’s not about equal time. Two days away in the quiet mountains reconnecting with nature can rejuvenate me for another two weeks of crazy. A half-hour workout at 5 am can pump me up to take on a hectic day. An hour-long session with my horse on a calm Friday evening is a great way to ease into the weekend.

It’s about quality not quantity.